Not many people I know are comfortable talking to their kids about sex ..it makes them feel squeamish ..so they want the government to do it ..by censoring the media. That way, they tell me, their kids won’t get the ‘wrong idea’. Some still complain about how uncomfortable they felt watching television the day Janet Jackson revealed her breast. They said it was obscene, shocking and distasteful. After that, the FCC ..on orders from the Attorney General ..jacked-up the fine for anything considered ‘offensive’ from $25,000 to $450,000. This frightened TV broadcasters so badly that I often hear the expression ‘Goddamn’ bleeped out of movies on TV ..like Raiders of the Lost Ark ..where ‘Marion Ravenwood’ says to Indiana Jones: “..until I get back my five thousand dollars back, you're gonna get more than you bargained for ..I'm your *bleep bleep* partner”. I’m sorry but I don’t think ‘discomfort’ ..or even ‘distasteful’ means ‘obscene’. What it does seem to mean is hypocrisy and bullshit.
There’s a trial going on in federal court here in LA where an adult filmmaker is charged with distributing obscene material. It’s the first one in Southern California since Christian conservatives lobbied the Bush administration to crack down on this kind of thing. The jurors in this case are supposed to define ‘what’s obscene’. Prosecutors were planning to subject them to hour after hour of sexually explicit videos ..hoping to win ..and give the federal government the authority to set standards for entertainment across the land.
That is ..until they discovered the judge hearing this case was putting the same kind of material on his website. That’s when the hypocrisy and bullshit began to fly. First, the judge blames his son for putting it there ..then a fellow U.S. judge defends him by saying the only mistake he made was getting caught ..then another federal judge steps in and says it’s only wrong if he intended to share it with others ..then the original judge claims it is not ‘officially obscene’ ..but later says he must’ve uploaded the ‘obscene’ material by accident ..while trying to upload something wholesome ..he goes on to show how that can happen ..as if we didn’t already know ..or haven’t used that excuse ourselves.
My issue is not with the judge or his website. It’s with the parents, ministers and federal court judges who cannot engage in an honest dialog about sex ~ because the subject makes them feel ‘squeamish’. I guess my point is ..I don’t want squeamishness to be the basis for censorship. I believe we are all responsible for what goes on in our head. Better that we see things in a knowing and healthy manner than cover it up and feel shocked all the time.
4 comments:
We are so backward in this country, when it comes to our sexuality. I admit, I don't like watching sex scenes while in the presence of my children (who are grown, even) but we seem to be in denial of our sexuality, and if we become aware/awakened to it, then we get all freaky about it (and I don't mean in a fun way, lol) and feel ashamed. I brought my kids up to have a healthy idea of sex... I actually told them that daddy took some fertilizer and fertilized mommy's egg so that it would grow, just like in a garden :O For real, though, women in European/Asian/Latin countries are much more in tune with their sexuality and in touch with their bodies. What is wrong with us, here in the USA!
I know that's true in Europe and Japan ~ since it's not so shocking to them they have less problem viewing even with family present ~ which, I admit, isn’t that comfortable for me either ~ but a friend of mine got engaged to a Swedish exchange student and when he visited her family for the first time ~ they went to the ‘hot springs’ ~ and he’s like ok, cool ~ until he got there and everyone disrobed ~ her parents ~ grandparents ~ brothers and sisters ~ and he’s like ..yikes !
I try to be pretty diligent about the sex talks with my kids. I'd much prefer they get it from me than the media or even the schools (abstinence only education is not a full sexual education in my opinion). It seems also that alot of people think that talking to your kids about this is a one-time deal - or maybe it is that squeamishness, they just want it over with. I started out when they were really little with the basics and the conversations have continued over the years with more detail added each time. Recently I discovered a stash of women's asses cut out from the back "classifieds" section of a local entertainment paper under my daughter's bed. I had a hard time stifling my laughter though (you just would've had to seen them - thongs and all) when I told her that it was nothing to be ashamed of to be curious about naked bodies because everyone is and that sort of thing - but I also asked her not to collect any more ass pictures. I don't remember what my point was. Being a parent is weird.
Amy ~ Thank you for such a candid comment ..yeah, parenting can be weird indeed ..you can never tell what’s going to happen next .. :)
I sometimes think abstinence is like another way of saying ‘just say no’ ..and that’s such a poor substitute for ‘lets keep talking’
I don’t mean ‘talking’ as in talk me into it ..I mean let’s keep the discussion alive
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