Wheel inside a wheel

I’m still upset about my conversation with Jim yesterday. I need some reassurance, so ..I call my friend Marty; a financial planner in Laguna Beach. He sounds really shook. He tells me that he’s having panic attacks and trouble sleeping at night. Three years ago, about the height of the real estate market ..he was afraid the bubble was going to burst ..so he sold his ranch in Trabuco Canyon and moved to a small apartment in town. He put the money he made into the stock market. Now he’s watching his investments evaporate ..and says it feels like he stepped off a cliff ..and he’s still falling. I guess he didn’t see it coming ..but then ..who did. Worst part of it is, he says, his clients call him everyday going: “Marty, I can’t take it anymore ..cash me out.” I tell him to hang-in there ..ride it out (surfing term) ..it can only get better. He says he’s gotta’ go now and put dinner ..or his head ..in the oven. The poor guy feels worse than I do. I conclude that it doesn’t matter which party is in power ..the markets are like a cycle inside a cycle inside a cycle. Government has about as much chance of harnessing that as they do the weather.

Jim

Jim is furious with me. The closer it gets to election day, the more black and white our thinking becomes. He knows I’m independent ..but socially progressive. To him that’s socialism. Then, like a drop of ink in clear water ..everything turns color. Over the phone, he blames the democrats in congress for the financial mess we’re in. Nothing specific comes to mind so I ask him to explain. Annoyed, he shouts: “you know ..social programs like Fannie Mae”. Being from another generation, it seems like they’ve been around forever ..I Google them and find out they were created in the 1960’s ..and I’m thinking Johnson administration, great society and entitlement programs ..maybe he’s right ..but then, no ..that can’t be ..goes back too far. I go: “Jim, that was forty years ago ..property values have been going up ever since ..what happened ?” He goes: “We have a democratic congress again.” I still don’t see the connection ..so I figure it’s my turn to make up some shit: “Tell you what I think, Jim ..it’s the republican administration’s fault ..they made it easier for banks to make risky loans .. by allowing investment firms (like Lehman Bros.) to buy them and re-sell them in the stock market (I figure, kind of like Fannie Mae ..it let’s the banks off the hook). Silence. “Jim, I think there’s plenty of blame to go around ..” More silence. I’ve crossed the line into irredeemable territory. We end the conversation politely ..but he’s not too pleased with me. I think I need to get one of those books by Dale Carnegie.

Predatory behavior

Coming from Orange County ..where beach parking is a nightmare ..I’m always delighted when I can pull off the road anywhere I want ..for free. I walk down the steps to a beach ..located in Oprah County ..as though I’m a local. I’m walking by the water, minding my own business, pleasantly empty-headed ..when I walk into the middle of a frisbee toss. It lands in the water where a tall blond, wearing only a thong, goes: “I’m not playing anymore” ..and walks back to her towel. I wade in to fetch the frisbee ..thinking about the thousands I’ve lost the same way ..when her male partner gets right in my face going: “I know you ..didn’t you use to hang out at Rocks ?” (a bar on State street). I’m like, no ..you must be thinking of someone else ..and figure that’s it. He doesn’t budge . He proceeds to tell me the names of all the other bars he goes to ..and all the property he owns ..how much money he wins in Vegas ..how they comp his airfare, hotel rooms and hookers ..how he schmoozes the blackjack dealers ..and always leaves there several thousand dollars richer. Then asks me how I would like to join him sometime. I tell him about the time I lost forty grand in Tahoe and swore off gambling. He tells me Vegas is a different story ..and changes the subject. Meanwhile, he’s still in my face ..and standing so close that we bump into each other every time our weight shifts in the sand. I don’t mind ..he’s pleasant enough and has good hygiene, but ..I can’t figure out what all the self-promotion is about. Now he’s talking about his efforts to save the ocean ..and I ask him if he’s an attorney (a conversation killer) ..and he’s like, no ..just someone who knows the right moves ..like when he’s in Vegas ..and blah blah blah. Then he asks if I’d like to join him up on the beach right now ..and gestures toward a group of babes. I chuckle and say that I’d love to, but ..I gotta go. He tells me to stop by next time ..they’ll be there. I say OK ..and ask his name. Steve Harmon. I’m walking away wondering where I heard that name before. I take a swim ..and sit on the sand to watch the sunset. Then one of Steve’s girls comes over and says she’s sure she knows me from somewhere ..and I say I don’t think so, because I’d definitely remember her. She goes: “Don’t you live in Hope Ranch ?” No, I reply ..must be someone else you’re thinking of. Now I’m sure this isn’t just friendly conversation. I told Steve I’m not a local ..but wasn’t more specific .. and now I just ruled out the second wealthiest place around. I politely tell her that I have to go .. and walk up the steps .. go over to my car ..when, boom ..it hits me. I remember where I heard his name. He was a high-rolling venture capitalist in Silicon Valley ..who took a well-publicized beating during the dot-com bust of 2001. So, now I’m thinking ..the stock market isn’t looking so hot ..he probably wants to see if I’m someone who could help bankroll his next gambling expedition. Suspicious soul that I am.

indian summer

I run into Barb and Chris today, swimming back into shore ..while I'm swimming out to sea. They ask me where my fins are ..and I tell them in the trunk of my car ..I didn’t think the waves looked big enough. They tell me I’m not going to get very far without them. That’s OK, I tell myself ~ I’m content to just float around here out anyway ~ looking up at the sky and letting the swells roll by. On shore there’s a dude, in a beer-fueled frenzy, throwing rocks, the size of bowling balls, into a pattern that looks like the shape of a skull. Father down, the signs of yesterday’s dredging operation have disappeared. I’m not even sure where it was anymore. They were trying to free a sailboat that’d gotten washed up and buried in the sand. There was a great big trench about 40 feet in diameter, and 8 feet deep. The tide must’ve come in and sealed it over. I feel even more disoriented when that huge old seal-rock that I’m looking for is gone ~ until I realize it was never there ..it’s in Laguna Beach. I make note of this as just another instance of my mind playing tricks on me ~ transposing something from the past into my notion of what should be in the present.

indian summer

The offshore breeze is warm ..but the water is so cold it gives me brain-freeze. From the shore I can see a pod of dolphins ..if I were out there still; they’d be bumping into me. I can hear water shooting out of their blowholes whenever they come to the surface. Barb says they must be feeding ..I say I think they’re playing ..Chris says they’re probably playing and feeding ..what a diplomat. I ask them if they swam out to the shipping lanes again today. They laugh and tell me ‘whatever it takes to reach a sustained 'cardio-rate’. They’re a couple restauranteurs I know from town ..out here between the lunch and dinner crowd. I admire them. They’re both a little bit older, but hell of a lot better swimmers than me.

offshore condition

The offshore wind is so cold today, it cuts my flesh, lungs and nerves. The air is so thin it makes me feel heavy. I take a short hike ~ and my body rebels. I feel resistance in my legs and hear voices screaming. I shout back, telling them to get used to it and go with the flow. We pass the place where the condos are going to go ~ and I’m thinking about what I’m going to say at the planning commission next Tuesday. No Way! They’re totally out of character with the area. Furthermore, they’re on the way to the County Bowl. where I envision more cars ~ more quarrels ~ more walls ~ more cops. Now, don’t get me wrong ~ I’m not against change ~ or progress ~ or the wind for that matter ~ as long as it goes in the direction I want it to go. Otherwise, I rebel and blow off a head of steam. Sometimes it works ~ sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, I know it’s time to quit ~ I hear someone shouting back, telling me to get used to it and go with the flow.

I heard another metaphor today. My neighbor Don says that the recent plunge in the stock market reminds him of wiping out at the Wedge in Newport Beach “It’s like you’re three feet under water ~ you can see the sky and the sun ~ but you can’t seem to get there.”

another place to fall

indian summer

A flock of pelicans hover, then tuck their wings and dive-bomb for fish. I sit amazed and cheer, wondering if they use sonar, feature detectors ..or telepathy as I was once told. In any case they’re as close to prehistoric times as you can get. Robert takes a running start and skims across the surface on his board ~ he kicks-off a wave and goes into an aerial spin ~ landing in time to catch the wave back to shore. He does this between classes. In the distance, I see people paddling out on stand-up surfboards called Ku Hoe He'e Nalu ..meanwhile I’m riding shorebreak and getting friction burns from the sand ..Robert laughs. The sky is a brilliant shade of royal blue ..a quarter moon smiles through ~ palm trees pierce the view ~ then Ka-boom ~ another wave crashes ~ water rushes around my feet ~ Robert skims ~ and a new cycle begins.

indian summer

Today is the first day of summer in Santa Barbara. Autumn is when the offshore wind comes and blows the marine-layer away ..turning the beaches crystal clear! I roll back the ragtop, throw in some Churchills and careen through town ..everything is blurry. I round the bend from Olive Mill to Channel Drive ..and everything is clear. I’m so white I shine like porcelain. I pour on sunscreen, spf 1001, do some deep breathing exercises ..and hurl my body into the water. It's refreshing but not too cold. There are some decent swells, so I get past the impact zone ..and ride a few in. Sitting on the shore I feel like I'm like looking at a poster by Rick Griffin ..which is as of deep as I want to go on this fine day.[Link]