Resurrection of Eve

She met him during her senior year in drama club. Roger was a recent graduate of theater arts from UCLA. He'd been asked to help them put on a production of ‘The Mikado’. I remember her going around singing: “You are the reason I've been waiting all these years” She was a fine soprano but a future Hollywood starlet ..probably not. She wouldn't stop talking about him like he was some kinda' golden boy and I could tell she was way beyond being just into him. He lived in the in-law quarters of a Malibu estate where he worked as a caretaker. She joined him after graduation and they spend what she describes as the most blissful summer of her life together. In September he left to take a position with a theater company in New York. Devastation ensued. At college, she was like a zombie. I don't know why she couldn't go with him but I figured maybe she didn't feel like it was her destiny or something (!?) I suppose I really didn't give it much thought. I ran into her in town a little while ago. There still seemed to be a lingering fog but I could sense some clearing. Then there was a breakthrough. It went something like this:

 

“I couldn’t get beyond the idea that I’d been abandoned by Roger.”
“In my mind I was like the victim because I wasn’t able to get him to stay.”
“I seriously believed I was the best I could be with him - I was nothing without him.”
“When he left, I felt like a failure ..like I wasn’t good enough ..he wanted someone better.”
“I realize now that he wanted to better himself.”
“Now I’m like, what the fuck …who’s to say I didn’t abandoned him?”
“I got a lot of things wrong back then.”

 

So did I, I told her ..I still don’t get it right.

Sensory integration

This garden universe vibrates complete. Some we get a sound so sweet. Vibrations reach on up to become light, and then thru gamma, out of sight. Between the eyes and ears there lay, the sounds of color and the light of a sigh   [ cont.. ]

Wicked messenger

“Each person is capable of perceiving infinitely more. The universe is funneled through the reducing valve of the brain and nervous system ..what comes out at the other end is a measly trickle.”   The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley

I began taking psychoactive substances when I was 14 years old. At first, they gave me a release from the conditioned-fear I was under (living in the custody of a brutal guardian). They made me feel euphoric ..free to fly during rock concerts or while tripping in the desert. After a while however, they started to turn on me. I began receiving a torrent of messages revealing the horror of my circumstances. I felt like a cornered rat. Next they bombarded me with messages telling me what a defective, punk-ass, shit-for-brains adolescent freak I’d become. I felt defeated. However, there was a saving grace. I noticed that these messages went away the next day and I had a choice whether to accept or reject them. I struggled. I chose to study the field of psychology. I wanted to learn more about the nature of this ‘messenger-service’. My senior thesis had to do with the neurological-basis of hallucinogens [ link ]. It helped me understand a little more about the substances I was taking during high school and how they produced the phenomena I experienced. I learned that the ‘indole alkaloids’, which make up mescaline, psilocybin and LSD, work by reducing levels of serotonin in the brain. When this happens, the barriers to sensory-input drop ..and the scope-of-interpretation widens. This accounts for the initial release I experienced ..and the subsequent dread I encountered. Flights of imagination can turn ugly given the freedom to interpret them wildly, and the latitude to plunge my ass into a nightmare abyss. But no matter how euphoric or horrifying, the flight was temporary and I began to accept just how insubstantial mental phenomena can be. I guess that’s why they tell me I’m resilient to depression now. I had an opportunity early in life to experience just what a ‘wicked messenger’ the mind can be.

Obama’s War on Pot

Photo courtesy of Coral Reefer [ link ]

In a shocking about-face, the administration has launched a 
government-wide crackdown on medical marijuana

Oaksterdam, a marijuana dispensary owned by activist Richard Lee, was raided Monday morning by DEA agents. Lee began using marijuana to ease his back pain after suffering a spinal injury at age 27. He and others like him have revolutionized the industry by developing hydroponic techniques to grow marijuana safely, onsite, and in compliance with state law. The Justice Department has been cracking down on California’s dispensaries and growers since October. Over the past year, the Obama administration has unleashed a multiagency crackdown on medical cannabis that goes far beyond anything like it in the past. The feds are busting growers who operate in full compliance with state laws, vowing to seize the property of anyone who dares to even rent to legal pot dispensaries, and threatening to imprison state employees responsible for regulating medical marijuana. It’s true that California has no shortage of illegal pot growers and the statute that allows for medical marijuana was poorly written. However, the state still has the right to pass laws and the power of jurisdiction. The Federal Government is overstepping it’s bounds and violating the sovereignty of the state when it repeals these laws and imposes it’s own jurisdiction.

Irreconcilable narrative

“The man who lets a leader prescribe his course is a wreck being towed to the scrap heap. It is the innovators, outside the status quo, who carry mankind forward.”   Read more ~> [ link ]

The curious case of Nathan Fletcher

 

Today I read the curious case of Assemblyman Nathan Fletcher (R-San Diego). He co-sponsored a bill with Governor Jerry Brown that even Republican lawmakers thought was a good idea. He wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Read on ~> [ link ]