Esalen (day one)

Arrival: Weather reports inform me that I’m heading into a storm ~ it’s already reached the coast of Monterey and moving toward Big Sur fast ~ I need fortification now ~ I stop at a subway shop in San Luis Obispo and instruct the preparer how to make my usual spinach and avocado salad ~ and put it inside an Italian roll ~ he thanks me and says that he’s never made one like that before ~ I put the top up on the alfa and inch my way to Big Sur ~ on a winding mountain road ~ in the fog and rain ~ on a pitch-black night ~ with the ocean moving hundreds of feet below. I’m scared shitless. The fog obscures the curves and hides the rocks on the road ahead ~ I feel small and vulnerable ~ like the wind is going to sweep me out to sea any second ~ I arrive at Esalen like an hour and a half late for workshop ~ I want to go directly to the hot springs but social pressure compels me to attend.

Workshop: James Baraz is conducting a weekend workshop on ‘Vipassana meditation’ ~ I have no idea what that means ~ he’s discussing four principles: 1) seeing clearly 2) being present 3) noticing change and 4) suspending judgment ~ but I’m sitting there going: he looks like someone I know ..Matt ..and I immediately rush to judge: 1) this workshop is going to suck 2) what a waste of time and money and 3) I should have gone to the hot springs instead ~ I eventually settle down and realize that he knows his shit ~ so I eliminate two out of three ..still unsure about whether or not I should have gone to the baths.

Baths: Afterwards, I go to the cabin and meet my roommate ..Gregg, a Psychiatrist from Ann Arbor Michigan ..and I’m like: “you’re a PSYCHIATRIST ..? We go down to the hot springs and talk until 3 am ~ I remember asking him about the outlook for ‘neurofeedback’ to help kids with ADD ~ although he's strongly against using medication ~ he tells me that most working parents would rather drug their children than wait weeks for neurofeedback to take affect ~ back at the cabin I pass out on the bed.