Esalen (day five)

I inch my way to the baths at night ~ there’s no moon to inform my legs ~ so I begin a cycle of losing my balance ~ stumbling ~ and stopping to regain my balance ~ telling myself what a brutal place Esalen can be ~ reminds me of when I used to ski ~ at the outer limit of my ability ~ feeling like, any moment, I was about to crash and burn ~ a kind person appears out of nowhere and asks if they can help ~ as comforting as that sounds ~ I say no thanks ~ this is the reason I come to Esalen ~ to learn how to find my way in the dark ~ we chat briefly and she disappears ~ my mind seems to be sub-consciously mapping the terrain ~ I have come much farther tonight before remembering to turn on the flashlight ~ wait a minute ~ there’s something else in the air ~ ambient light everywhere ~ where is it coming from ~ I look up at the night sky and see the milky way ~ but I go “no, that’s just a romantic notion I read somewhere ~ it must be coming from the cabins on the hill over there” ~ I float to the outer rim of the bath ~ look out over the ocean ~ and watch the waves crash ~ remembering what someone once said ~ I’m living on the cutting edge ~ then I look up and find that I was wrong ~ it wasn’t just a romantic notion of mine ~ the milky way really does light up the path at night ..!

baths at night
a pearlescent glow
as light waves arrive
from a journey that started
millions of years ago