Friday, July 29, 2005

Whooosh

It got noticeably more quiet here today, which makes me feel kind of ‘low-spirited’. Nancy, Teresa, Lara and Jade took off from Zurich this morning. Left a big vacuum. It also got a whole lot hotter and more humid. So, I’m sitting on a shady patio, reading, watching the clouds go by and doing as little as possible. I talk to Steve and he asks me to think of a domain name for his electronic voting system. I came up with something like safe_and_representative.org ..in order to stress it’s ‘tamper resistant’ virtues.

Says here how very few moments are ‘emotionally neutral’. So, I think about that for a moment and go ..yeah, I get a ‘rush’ when people pay attention to me ..a ‘buzz’ when they understand what I’m saying –‘demolished’ when they don’t ..‘embarrassed’ that my German isn’t any better ..‘guilty’ that I make Bernadette struggle in English. I see the power I have to amplify my feelings and blow them out of proportion. For me, it’s important to let go of persistent, negative reactions. I counter feelings of ‘submission’ in response to my father’s voice ..which makes me feel like a kid again ..and reminds me of when spilling a bowl of soup was like a major catastrophe. Interesting to sit here and watch these ‘charged’ moments go by.

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