Split level head

I’m so happy I live in a split-level head ..there are so many rooms ..I don’t have to go anywhere ..I can do all my traveling from home. I run up the stairs ..where the police are ready to beat me because of my ongoing problems with authority. I run up the stairs and there’s an attorney waiting to brief me ..but I resist because I don’t trust anyone who’s trying to convince me. I run up the stairs where there’s a room full of women ..and a table full of daggers. I run up the stairs where my business partner shoots me. I run up the stairs and find an empty room ..feels kinda’ lonely in here. I run up the stairs into a room full of books ..I browse the shelves until I find one that says I’m better off living by myself. I curse the fact that I can’t talk to my father ..until I find the page that says that he has trouble talking to me too ..which makes me feel like an oddball ..until further down I read that maybe he’s an oddball too ..I feel grateful for the realization that there are two sides to that story ..and hope it’s not because I’m a paranoid schizo. I worry about the up-coming apocalypse ..then realize I have no religious basis to think one might ever happen. I curse the wind and rain ..but even the sunshine brings me pain. I worry about my cholesterol ..and drive 95 mph down the hall. I am a man of constant contradiction ..wait long enough and I’ll tell you the opposite. I’m so happy I live in a split-level head