Paranoid delusions

I get no sleep ..I tank up on coffee, ginseng and a whole assortment of herbal remedies but still end up feeling weary for the rest of the day. I call you on the telephone but get dismissed. That was a blow ..I try to think ..what did I do to deserve that ..did I forget to comment on your pretty outfit ..or stare too long at someone else’s pretty outfit. Experience tells me that it is more likely something I neglected to do than something I actually did ..an error of omission ..those are the worst kind ..but if there’s something I learned from my former marriage ..it’s how thoughtless I can be ..I remember all the times she would sit on the beach and fry while I was surfing .. her skin was so fair ..it wasn’t until she started building shelters out of material she found on the beach (which I thought was pretty resourceful) that it occurred to me to go out and buy a beach umbrella. Oh, I know what it is ...I didn’t take you to the Emmylou Harris concert ..no, that can’t be it ..you don’t know that I went to the concert ..besides, it was a last minute invitation from Joey ..I didn’t even know I was going until, like ..half an hour before the show. Now I’m panicking ..all kinds of thoughts are racing through my puny little brain ..what did I do ..did I buy wine from the wrong vineyard ..one that’s not eco-friendly ..do you think I’m stingy with my pot ..you know I have a habit of cleaning up after myself ..did I say something offensive ..like the story about Ryan’s romantic fiasco ..I was only trying to be amusing ..did you find out about the time I spent at Camarillo state ..I was working there ..damn you Brian ..I don’t go around telling other people where you and I know each other from. I start to wonder if I have become so displeasing that you’d rather watch a cooking show on TV than chat with me over the phone .. that’s OK, my phone calls won’t bother you anymore ..besides, you are much too sensitive ..and you take things way too personally ..then blow them totally out of proportion. Later on you call to say you’re sorry for sounding a bit down over the phone earlier ..but the humidity was bothering you and you didn’t want to sound bitchy.

Note: Camarillo state is a nearby psychiatric facility ..I was just kidding about that. Brian and I know each other from our former place of employment ..so it wasn't a big lie.