Virginia

Tonight I regret something I said to my neighbor Virginia earlier today. I got angry because it reminded me of one of those ‘circular discussions’ I used to get into with my mother ..I’d say something like: ‘I’m going to wash the car’ ..and she’d complain that I haven’t mowed the lawn ..so I’d say ‘OK, I’ll mow the lawn’ ..to which she'd angrily reply that I haven’t washed the car ..and so on. In this case, Virginia points out that the drain pipe needs repair ..I agree saying it could flood in a storm ..to which she replies: NO, it’s creating a ‘standing-water’ problem RIGHT NOW ..we don’t want that now, do we ..? No, I reply ..you’re right. Occasionally I come out here and brush the water away. Then she tells me that’s nothing ..imagine what would happen during a storm ..!! It felt like she flipped a switch and a sent a surge of electricity though me. I paused to let it pass ..and tuned her out for a moment ..when I tuned back in, I realized she was telling me that ‘I’ have a project on my hands ..because the County bills us for these repairs now .. so ‘I’ should do something immediately ..and how do I plan to do that. I calmly say that I’ll get Tom’s advice ..it needs to be done right and he’s a contractor ..to which she replies: Can’t you think of a cheaper way to do it ..get your ex-wife to help. Restraining myself, I say ..sure, I’ll see if there’s an easy way first ..to which she replies by playing my own words back to me saying: NO, it needs to be done RIGHT ..you (and your ex) have some thinking to do ..my brother-in-law sloped this area for drainage ..don’t you think he did a good job ..? I numbly say .. fantastic job ..picking up on the implication that, since he did the original work ..it’s my job to keep things running right. Without raising my voice ..I asked if her vacant rental was up to code yet ..knowing full well that I was going way out of bounds by asking a question about her property. She stiffened and said: Oh, you must have been talking to ‘her’ (the former tenant). No, I said ..I read the notice that the building inspector posted on the door. She walked away saying it was none of my business. I realized it was an evocative question ..intended to get back at her for reminding me of my mother ..then treating me like a child and assigning me chores ..how underhanded of her.