Dos Equis

I’m careening recklessly down the street, swearing at anybody who even thinks about getting in my way. I arrive at the credit union just in time to pay my mortgage before they start charging late fees ..and, in my paranoid state of mind, threatening to make arrangements for me to begin living on the street. I cruise along the shoreline with the top down trying to soothe my nerves. I make a sudden stop to parallel park ..and hear the sound of another driver calling me an asshole. I walk out on the sand ..drop my shorts ..and run into the water ..drenching the last frying nerve fiber. I still can’t seem to think straight. I walk into a liquor store ..dripping wet .. pick up a few bottles of Dos Equis ..a newspaper ..and a towel. I go back out to the beach to try and clear my head. Now something I’m reading doesn’t make sense. It says President Bush has just created the largest marine preserve in U.S history. Great, now I'm imagining things. I shake my head ..drink some more beer ..then read it again very carefully. Sure enough, he did. Says he was inspired by reading a Dr. Seuss book. The 'Lorax' reminds him of the ‘sleepy-eyed monk seal’ off the coast of Hawaii. That’s wonderful ..! My favorite Dr Seuss book is ‘Horton Hears a Who’. That’s where an elephant shows everyone how precious life can be no matter how small, humble or poor. I wonder if Bush will get around to reading that one too.