Thursday, September 13, 2007

Psychotic episode

At 3:00 o’clock in the afternoon, my thoughts become disordered ..Ron is talking, but his words are all out of sequence ..like a movie soundtrack playing backwards. "I have no idea what you're talking about" I shout ..when suddenly he turns into a movie character ..which makes me laugh hysterically. I tell him he looks like ‘Vincent D’Onofrio’ ..but he looks at me quizzically like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about ..then he morphs into an alien from another planet ..and I freak. “Who the fuck are you ..!?” I scream ..and watch a succession of bewildered expressions cross his face .. each one too exaggerated to be real ..just what I’d expect from someone who’s not what they seem. His eyes shift nervously from side to side ..and I detect a hint of urgency in his voice. He says he’s concerned for my well-being ..but it sounds insincere. A wave of paranoia washes over me and I feel compelled to cut off this conversation with whatever‘s become of Ron. I hand him a case of wine ..and ask if he wouldn’t mind putting it in the wine cellar ..then I bolt out the front door before he remembers that I don’t have a wine cellar. Outside, daylight arrives in hues of green and blue ..which is comforting compared to the anxiety I was feeling inside. Cars whoosh by ..and vanish out of sight. One by one, the houses on the street begin to disappear .. revealing family rituals that I no longer comprehend. In case they‘re not aware, I stop and shout: “Hey, you’re not behind closed doors anymore ..ya’ know ..!” In return, I get a bunch of mixed messages ..some going: “come here, come here” ..and others saying: “go away ..and mind your own fucking business”. Not knowing what to do ..I go back home where I’m relieved to find that Ron is his usual self again ..and drinking my wine. He pours a glass for me and says he couldn’t find anymore room in the wine cellar.

9 comments:

elise said...

who would play you in the movie of your life?

paranoia, anxiety, psychotic episodes? sounds like suburban america.

hope your mind finds a calm in the hues of green and a good glass of wine.

msb said...

Hope better holds on to you for awhile.

Lee William said...

I always thought David Carradine would do a good me ..but my sister insists Kevin Costner ..and my last significant other said my writing reminds her of Beavis and Butthead ..so I’ll guess I’ll go with Billy Bob Thorton ..

Lee William said...

better comes and goes ..but hope hangs on for awhile

elise said...

well sheesh ignore them. I think david carradine is PERFECT! i think he might be one of my favorite actors. I've watched almost all of kung fu... and his role in kill bill- the way he tells stories reminds me of you.

Lee William said...

Now that put a smile on my face ..david carradine is one of my favorite actors as well ..I loved watching him in kill bill ..I can only aspire to tell stories the way he does ..

Thank you so much ..!

msb said...

only ex's would come up with B&B. MAkes a better scotch. I vote David Carradine too.

cookiewonton said...

David Carradine, all the way.

Lee William said...

thank you thank you ..although, I do like the way Billy Bob Thorton acts ..he makes it seem so natural or something