IHOP adventure

The cleaning lady wakes me in the morning ..yelling: “Get up ..my daughter’s flyin’ in from Texas today ‘n you’re my last customer.” So now I’m sitting at IHOP eating German pancakes ..remembering the first time I ate at IHOP ..because it was like the first time someone orbited the Earth ..and I’m wondering if all planets are round and orbity ..or if some are irregular and streaky ..like an asteroid ..when suddenly the table explodes with the sound of a hand slamming: BAM BAM BAM ..and someone yelling: “Buenos tardes amigo ..que paso?” ..and I’m thinking ..am I tardy? ..and he’s going: “Wassup dude ..” and I’m like “Scarfing pancakes, brah” ..he sits down and goes: “That’s not a pancake, man .. that’s a crepe ..pancakes come in stacks” ..and I say: “Guess you never seen a silver dollar pancake either ..let’s see if they got those on the menu” ..and he goes: “Nah, ya’ only get those in Vegas” and I’m like: “Dude, you’re thinking about a silver dollar breakfast” and he goes: “That’s no breakfast ..a steak and a bottle of wine ..now that’s breakfast ..they got that here?” “S’pose so ..they’re also known as Cholesterol City”. He asks the waitress ..but she says they don’t serve alcoholic beverages ..and I say too bad, guess they can’t serve you any beverages ..no one gets the stupid joke ..he looks at me like I’m an idiot ..then asks the waitress how in the world they can serve crepes without French wine ..the two go together like tequila and limes ..and I’m like: “Dude, you’re thinking about baguettes” ..he looks at me like I’m an idiot ..the waitress is looking at us like we’re both idiots ..I’m thinking ‘five easy pieces’ ..and he asks the waitress for a steak and Denver omelet with poblano chilies.