coastal zone

offshore conditions at Butterfly ..crystal

Brain freeze

The offshore wind has beaten the onshore to a standstill. Wicked conditions at Butterfly. I cruise Channel Drive with the top down and a Grateful Dead tune bouncing along. The islands look so close I could reach out and grab them. I see paddle-boarders glide by on water that looks like ice. I take a running leap and plunge into the one thing that reminds me it’s winter in California ..the water also feels like ice. It knocks the shit outta’ me and makes me scream. A ten-year old girl in a winter-suit paddles by and asks if I’m all right. I feel like an idiot .. like I’m so under-dressed for the occasion. I can see the wetsuit I left hanging in the garage and wish like hell I could reach back there and grab it. I swim back to shore and thaw-out from brain-freeze. I guess a walk on the beach is what’s happening today.

Gold coast

Beautiful autumn day. Sunlight passes horizontally through the eucalyptus trees and turns to gold ..I’m fully in love with this time of year. Out on the deck, the air is perfectly still ..there’s no breeze coming from any direction. Makes me think about the waves I’m missing on the beach. I pop a couple tabs of ginseng ..hop into the alfa ..turn up Blind Faith and pull way too far into traffic lanes on Anapamu Street. Real swift. I pop it into reverse and swing my head around when I realize the cars have stopped to let me through. I proceed ..giving them a courtesy wave .. then head around the Milpas bend. I pass by the marquis for the County Bowl ..and remind myself to keep an eye on the road. I pass by Trader Joe’s ..giving the right of way to cars already in the circle ..and shoot out on highway 101 ..listening to Steve Winwood singing ‘Sea of Joy’. I exit almost immediately on Olive Mill ..downshift to 15 mph on Channel Drive and check out the tide and the surf and the sun shining on the water. Perfect glassy conditions with crisp, waist-high waves peeling off Hammonds. I pull over ..grab my Churchills’ ..knowing that the fins of choice now days are Vipers ..feeling a slightly stupid sense of brand loyalty. I spend five minutes on the sand doing breathing exercises and sizing up the situation. I take a running start .. dive into an oncoming wave and surface on the backside feeling free ..like the wave washed over my brain and removed all constraints .. putting me in perfect condition for whatever happens next.

Joy

by TomiJoy

Free falling

Late afternoon, Don calls and says the swells are getting bigger. I blow-off my plans, throw my Churchills in the alfa and zip down to the shore. I do some quick deep-breathing exercises and take a running leap into oncoming waves. The first ride nearly yanks my shorts off ..I pull the waistband as tight as it’ll go. The next ride throws me over the falls ..I go limp and bounce twice off the sandy bottom. After some more pounding, I head for the shore to get a birds-eye view. The swells are definitely getting bigger. I’m about to go back out when I see someone coming in. At first, I thought it was a guy I was watching out there. Instead, it was a girl I was watching out there. I meet Sara from Westmont College. I’m surprised ..she’s small, almost waif-like ..and carries a wicked pair of Vipers. She’s no Val .. and from what I saw ..knows no fear. We chat briefly ..and head back in the water. I zip down the face a wave and decide to ride it without bailing ..and get trashed in the collapse. I emerge in churning white water ..look around and see her pop-up ..breathless but exhilarated. We swim back as fast as we can to catch the next one ..too late. She ducks under while I go up and over the top ..feeling the vacuum of the curl almost suck me backwards by my feet. Dumb thing to do because the next wave is right on it’s heels. I know I’m going over the falls but I catch it anyway .. getting a fast-pitched ride into white-water oblivion. I lose my orientation ..scrap my shoulder against a vertical wall of sand ..go wtf ..and figure it’ll be just a few seconds before my sonar detects true bottom. Back on shore, Sara says she’s gotta’ go ..I stay, repeating her email address over-and-over, and ride until sunset .. wondering if this is the beginning of a cycle or the last amp of the day.

Summertime

The offshore winds arrive on schedule today ..blowing the marine layer out to sea and creating the first day of summer for me. I put the top down ..throw in some Churchills ..and head for the shore where conditions are immaculate. Offshore winds have turned the beach warm and crystal clear. Since it's a south-facing beach, we don’t feel the wind so much as it’s warm and cleansing effect. I run across the sand and plunge in. After riding a few waves ..I’m reminded that I live on a planet again.

Gone

Laura calls from Austin and tells me her truck has just been repossessed. I rack my brains trying to think of what I can do to help, but the best I can come up with is .. “let me see what I can do.” Guess she’s heard that often enough because she says “ ..that means you aren't going to do anything” ..and hangs up pissed. Well, that’s disturbing news ..I feel my heart racing and my mind spinning. I’m frantically trying to find a way to help, but keep coming up short. Perhaps I should make a few phone calls and get some advice. I figure this probably isn’t the best time to do that, so ..I grab my fins and head for the shore ..the words “aren't going to do anything” still ringing in my ears. The water is calm and classy, again ..like yesterday. Offshore conditions have definitely prevailed. I swim vigorously, then relax and float. My heart has stopped racing and my mind has stopped spinning. I still hear the words “aren't going to do anything” circling my head ..but at much longer intervals. I still haven’t figured out what to do ..but at least I’m not taking it out on myself anymore. Hopefully clarity will prevail.

Almost summer

I take my hands off the keyboard ..push away from the computer ..walk across campus and slide down a dirt trail to Leadbetter beach, where I drop my pack and plunge into the water. Conditions are clear and glassy, so I take a few strokes then roll over on my back and float. I hear sea lions barking. Out of the corner of my eye I see surfers lined up at the point. Overhead, pelicans pass in formation, circle and then dive bomb for fish. I get off my back and cheer at them for that ..prehistoric creatures that they are. I track them, hoping to see their diving act again, when they disappear into a fog bank and I’m like ..wtf. Where did that come from. I can’t hear the sea lions anymore. I guess this isn't an offshore day. Those won’t be here for another week or so. October is when summer really begins around here ..at least for me anyway.

heineken green

The water changed dramatically overnight ..now it’s sub-zero freezing and beer-bottle green ..the color of a Heineken. Knocks the wind out of me. Eddie says arctic currents must’ve arrived and replaced the warm water that was here yesterday ..probably run-off from a melting iceberg. Lenny laughs and goes: “that means it ain’t no Heineken brahh ..it’s downstream beer.” Then Barb points at her watch and goes: “It’s November 7th guys ..you ought to be bringing wetsuits and fins with you ..that way it won’t matter what kinda’ beer.” We all agree she’s gotta good point. We go for a swim at sunset. The rays hit the water like stained glass ..adding scarlet and pink to a deeper shade of Heineken green ..the sky is a color that no one has a name for.

offshore condition

The water is much warmer and calmer than yesterday ..it’s also beer-bottle brown. Eddie says it’s like red tide only with a different kind of microorganism. He doesn’t remember which. I wonder if he ever really knew. I’m in the water way past sunset because I haven’t got sense enough to get out ~ and now the air's like way too cold. Barb swims by and asks me where my fins are ..again. I try to explain that I wear them only when, like uh .. “like never” she interjects .. and I go: “no, more like on wavier days” ~ but now that's like, beside the point. “You’re never gonna catch me without them” she says ~ and jets out of sight wearing some pretty serious diving fins ~ I hear her laughter fading as she goes. I do a few more backstrokes and head into shore ~ where I run into a dog that looks exactly like Andy, when Andy was just a couple months old, and I’m like: “Oh my god, Andy you shrunk.” I’m sitting there while he licks the salt off of my hands and face. When his human arrives, I tell him how much I love Airedales ~ and he tells me that’s not an Airedale ..it’s a Welsh Terrier ~ fully grown. I’m like: “Whooaah, no way ..!!” and he’s laughing and saying: “Yeah, he’s six years old” and I’m like, wow, looks like a miniature version of my own dog. I go on to tell him how smart I think they are ~ and he goes: “ mmm, not this one ..he’s dumber'n a mule ..we just got him from the pound.” Give him time ..I say, give him time (because I seriously believe Andy is one of the smartest species on the planet).

Niece Karla and Andy

A new day

There’s an offshore flow ~ I top-off my water bottle ~ grab a towel ~ forget my wetsuit ~ and shoot down Milpas ~ Hendrix blaring. I cut through a construction site ~ drive a mile down Hwy 101 (the reason I do this is another story) ~ get off on Olive Mill ~ and cruise the shoreline ~ it's crystal. I sit on the sand ~ take some deep breaths ~ and venture into the surf. My legs go numb ~ reminding me of the wetsuit I left behind. I dive into an oncoming wave ~ shoot out the other side ~ roll on my back and float ~ looking up at the sky through the elliptical scope of my eyes. My brain freezes. I see Robert in the distance and shout ~ asking him why he’s not skim boarding ~ he shouts back saying there were dolphins out here like ten minutes ago ~ he wanted to get a closer look. Once you’re in ~ you don’t want to get out. The sunset turns the sky bright orange ~ Robert tells me to turn around ~ behind me the sky is like ultra-violet. The water is smooth ~ flowing cohesion ~ I feel calm ~ a sense of renewal washes over me ~ I think back to yesterday ~ and the peaceful revolution we had ~ I salute everyone for a job well done.

Predatory behavior

Coming from Orange County ..where beach parking is a nightmare ..I’m always delighted when I can pull off the road anywhere I want ..for free. I walk down the steps to a beach ..located in Oprah County ..as though I’m a local. I’m walking by the water, minding my own business, pleasantly empty-headed ..when I walk into the middle of a frisbee toss. It lands in the water where a tall blond, wearing only a thong, goes: “I’m not playing anymore” ..and walks back to her towel. I wade in to fetch the frisbee ..thinking about the thousands I’ve lost the same way ..when her male partner gets right in my face going: “I know you ..didn’t you use to hang out at Rocks ?” (a bar on State street). I’m like, no ..you must be thinking of someone else ..and figure that’s it. He doesn’t budge . He proceeds to tell me the names of all the other bars he goes to ..and all the property he owns ..how much money he wins in Vegas ..how they comp his airfare, hotel rooms and hookers ..how he schmoozes the blackjack dealers ..and always leaves there several thousand dollars richer. Then asks me how I would like to join him sometime. I tell him about the time I lost forty grand in Tahoe and swore off gambling. He tells me Vegas is a different story ..and changes the subject. Meanwhile, he’s still in my face ..and standing so close that we bump into each other every time our weight shifts in the sand. I don’t mind ..he’s pleasant enough and has good hygiene, but ..I can’t figure out what all the self-promotion is about. Now he’s talking about his efforts to save the ocean ..and I ask him if he’s an attorney (a conversation killer) ..and he’s like, no ..just someone who knows the right moves ..like when he’s in Vegas ..and blah blah blah. Then he asks if I’d like to join him up on the beach right now ..and gestures toward a group of babes. I chuckle and say that I’d love to, but ..I gotta go. He tells me to stop by next time ..they’ll be there. I say OK ..and ask his name. Steve Harmon. I’m walking away wondering where I heard that name before. I take a swim ..and sit on the sand to watch the sunset. Then one of Steve’s girls comes over and says she’s sure she knows me from somewhere ..and I say I don’t think so, because I’d definitely remember her. She goes: “Don’t you live in Hope Ranch ?” No, I reply ..must be someone else you’re thinking of. Now I’m sure this isn’t just friendly conversation. I told Steve I’m not a local ..but wasn’t more specific .. and now I just ruled out the second wealthiest place around. I politely tell her that I have to go .. and walk up the steps .. go over to my car ..when, boom ..it hits me. I remember where I heard his name. He was a high-rolling venture capitalist in Silicon Valley ..who took a well-publicized beating during the dot-com bust of 2001. So, now I’m thinking ..the stock market isn’t looking so hot ..he probably wants to see if I’m someone who could help bankroll his next gambling expedition. Suspicious soul that I am.

indian summer

I run into Barb and Chris today, swimming back into shore ..while I'm swimming out to sea. They ask me where my fins are ..and I tell them in the trunk of my car ..I didn’t think the waves looked big enough. They tell me I’m not going to get very far without them. That’s OK, I tell myself ~ I’m content to just float around here out anyway ~ looking up at the sky and letting the swells roll by. On shore there’s a dude, in a beer-fueled frenzy, throwing rocks, the size of bowling balls, into a pattern that looks like the shape of a skull. Father down, the signs of yesterday’s dredging operation have disappeared. I’m not even sure where it was anymore. They were trying to free a sailboat that’d gotten washed up and buried in the sand. There was a great big trench about 40 feet in diameter, and 8 feet deep. The tide must’ve come in and sealed it over. I feel even more disoriented when that huge old seal-rock that I’m looking for is gone ~ until I realize it was never there ..it’s in Laguna Beach. I make note of this as just another instance of my mind playing tricks on me ~ transposing something from the past into my notion of what should be in the present.

indian summer

The offshore breeze is warm ..but the water is so cold it gives me brain-freeze. From the shore I can see a pod of dolphins ..if I were out there still; they’d be bumping into me. I can hear water shooting out of their blowholes whenever they come to the surface. Barb says they must be feeding ..I say I think they’re playing ..Chris says they’re probably playing and feeding ..what a diplomat. I ask them if they swam out to the shipping lanes again today. They laugh and tell me ‘whatever it takes to reach a sustained 'cardio-rate’. They’re a couple restauranteurs I know from town ..out here between the lunch and dinner crowd. I admire them. They’re both a little bit older, but hell of a lot better swimmers than me.

offshore condition

The offshore wind is so cold today, it cuts my flesh, lungs and nerves. The air is so thin it makes me feel heavy. I take a short hike ~ and my body rebels. I feel resistance in my legs and hear voices screaming. I shout back, telling them to get used to it and go with the flow. We pass the place where the condos are going to go ~ and I’m thinking about what I’m going to say at the planning commission next Tuesday. No Way! They’re totally out of character with the area. Furthermore, they’re on the way to the County Bowl. where I envision more cars ~ more quarrels ~ more walls ~ more cops. Now, don’t get me wrong ~ I’m not against change ~ or progress ~ or the wind for that matter ~ as long as it goes in the direction I want it to go. Otherwise, I rebel and blow off a head of steam. Sometimes it works ~ sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, I know it’s time to quit ~ I hear someone shouting back, telling me to get used to it and go with the flow.

I heard another metaphor today. My neighbor Don says that the recent plunge in the stock market reminds him of wiping out at the Wedge in Newport Beach “It’s like you’re three feet under water ~ you can see the sky and the sun ~ but you can’t seem to get there.”

indian summer

A flock of pelicans hover, then tuck their wings and dive-bomb for fish. I sit amazed and cheer, wondering if they use sonar, feature detectors ..or telepathy as I was once told. In any case they’re as close to prehistoric times as you can get. Robert takes a running start and skims across the surface on his board ~ he kicks-off a wave and goes into an aerial spin ~ landing in time to catch the wave back to shore. He does this between classes. In the distance, I see people paddling out on stand-up surfboards called Ku Hoe He'e Nalu ..meanwhile I’m riding shorebreak and getting friction burns from the sand ..Robert laughs. The sky is a brilliant shade of royal blue ..a quarter moon smiles through ~ palm trees pierce the view ~ then Ka-boom ~ another wave crashes ~ water rushes around my feet ~ Robert skims ~ and a new cycle begins.

indian summer

Today is the first day of summer in Santa Barbara. Autumn is when the offshore wind comes and blows the marine-layer away ..turning the beaches crystal clear! I roll back the ragtop, throw in some Churchills and careen through town ..everything is blurry. I round the bend from Olive Mill to Channel Drive ..and everything is clear. I’m so white I shine like porcelain. I pour on sunscreen, spf 1001, do some deep breathing exercises ..and hurl my body into the water. It's refreshing but not too cold. There are some decent swells, so I get past the impact zone ..and ride a few in. Sitting on the shore I feel like I'm like looking at a poster by Rick Griffin ..which is as of deep as I want to go on this fine day.[Link]

Offshore flow

I put the top down ~ zip through town ~ and check out the shore ~ there’s a warm wind swooping down from the mountains ~ and blowing out to sea ~ it’s eighty degrees (Fahrenheit) and conditions are glassy ~ I love offshore flows ~ I walk across the sand ~ and plunge into the water ~ it’s painfully cold ~ but such an awakening ~ I swim until it gets warm ~ then float on my back ~ looking at the sky ~ through a bubble that my eyes create ~ it’s oval shaped ~ I see the sky clearly ~ but the cliffs and trees ~ stretching around the periphery ~ are hazy and indistinct ~ kind of spooky ~ and there’s almost no sound ~ just the water lapping against my ears ~ occasionally a bird streaks by ~ leaving trails in the sky ~ I try to stay with these images ~ but forces outside my bubble keep interfering ~ mostly thoughts about things that aren’t in the vicinity ~ there’s a porous boundary between what’s in front of me ~ and the images that my mind flashes ~ of things that haven‘t happened ~ it’s almost hallucinatory.

Day at the beach

I get up in the morning ..splash water on my face ..go outside .. sit on the deck and drink coffee while reading the newspaper. There are more reports that dinosaurs aren’t extinct ..they’re flying over my head ..and I think of ‘Leghorn Foghorn’ ..except I know he can’t fly. There's absolutely zero breeze ..I figure the windstorm must have blown over. I grab a towel ..put the top down and drive to Butterfly beach. Now I’m sitting in a powerful onshore wind ..watching the surf getting chopped to smithereens. I take a deep breath and jump in ..to the amazement of everyone sitting on the beach. Arctic currents have replaced the warm water that was here yesterday ..feels like an iceberg just melted ..the pain knocks the wind out of me ..my brain freezes up and goes numb. I ride a wind-wave back to shore ..cover myself in towels that people have donated ..and shake uncontrollably ..trying to imagine what they think of me. I hop in the car, figuring a few minutes at the sangha might do me some good ..but the roads are closed for construction ..and people are forced to use surface streets. So, I decide to take an alternate road winding into the mountains ..and get lost. I manage to find some relief by peeing in the woods ..but end up rattling around for about an hour and a half until I find a road I recognize. Now I’m sitting in the sangha surrounded by people meditating ..trying to keep my hands from shaking ..my lungs from breathing too heavily ..and still trying to imagine what people think of me.

Karla’s birthday

I pick Karla up after school for our usual assault on the beach. I’m about to tell her to invite friends ..since it’s her birthday ..when she remembers that she already has an invitation to go to a party. It’s Fernanda’s birthday too. Nellie is going .. however, Nellie’s twin sister, Maggie, isn’t coming because she’d rather go shopping with her mother. So I take Karla and Nellie to the party ..then launch my own assault on the beach with Andy, my dog. I watch him chase birds up and down the shore ..see pelicans dive bomb for fish ..listen to a guy named ‘Tim’ tell me how his girlfriend threw him out of the house because members of their church didn’t like his tattoos. I go for a swim then drive back to Laura’s house. Laura is home from work now so we go pick up Karla ..and get a call from Nellie’s mother asking where Maggie is. Laura tells her that we don’t know because I only drove Nellie to the party ..then tells me she’s probably with her boyfriend. We go have a ‘birthday dinner’ at the Vietnamese restaurant ..pho with shrimp and fish. I listen to Karla explain the message behind the movie ‘Before and After’ ..so now I’m anxious to see it. She also wrote down the plot of a movie called ‘Fairy Tale’ ..in case I wanted to use it for one of my goth fairy stories. How thoughtful she is. She's thirteen today.