A beautiful mind in Lindau

I finished reading 'Beautiful Mind', which was nothing like the movie, but still an excellent account of how to deal with the dieties of mental illness. John Nash went crazy when his ordinary thoughts gave way to the exhilaration of delusions. Delusions are not just childish fantasies ..but compulsions driven by terror and the will to survive. He believed he was receiving messages from superior beings in outer space when he read the New York Times –they told him that the US was becoming a fascist state and we were all being regimented. He became paranoid that independent thinkers like himself would be persecuted.

What I admire about Nash was his ability to counter these delusions and get out from under their influence. He accomplished this through the power of reason ..simply recognizing and rejecting the irrational beliefs that fueled his psychosis. If only my delusions were that easy to get rid of.

I put down the book and look out through the window of my Bavarian sanitarium. Tall pine trees waving in front of stormy gray skies ..not what I expected ..but definitely a break from the usual. Urges me to explore. Maybe that’s why I picked this book out of all the others in my brother’s collection. You learn a lot about things when they fall apart.

Spinoza in Lindau

Benedict De Spinoza was a philosopher living in Amsterdam during the ‘age of enlightenment’ ..around the mid-1600’s. What interests me is that his ideas pre-figured modern day neuroscience ..especially regarding the relationship between the mind and body. He talked about the ‘natural wisdom of the body ..speculating that ‘feelings’ are the mind’s ‘ideas’ about the body ..and so on. Today neuroscientists know we have an ‘interoceptive sense’ that carries messages from the body to the brain where they register as feelings and a sense of wellbeing. Feelings have the same value as other thoughts and ideas when it comes to guiding behavior. In fact, without them people would not be able to make even the most simple decision ..like what to eat or what to wear. The intellect paralyzes ..whereas feelings add weight to information, which, in turn, narrows things down, so we can act comfortably ..without undue deliberation.

Looking for Spinoza,by Antonio Damasio, is a highly readable book on the neuroscience of the mind~body relationship.

Charlotte Simmons, by Tom Wolfe, also shows the importance of feelings. The fictitious Charlotte Simmons is a super smart, high achieving honors student and valedictorian. However in college, her concerns about approval ..what other people think ..and what's 'cool' ..carry more weight than her own 'keen intellect'.

Pfänder bender

Today we launch our first assault on Mount Pfänder (pronounced fender). Jenny, Jeffrey, Cindy, Steve and I hike up to the top ..following one of Jeff’s mountain bike trails. It's a killer hike and I'm gasping for breath. I tell them that this is just like one my regular hikes ..only much, much longer and way steeper. Switch back trails take us through forests full of fir, pine and spruce trees. We hike by streams trickling out of the mountainside ..across lush alpine meadows ..back into the forest ..then out again on top of the world. And Whoaa ..! What a fantastic view of the Bodensee (Lake Constance) ..as well as the Rhine River and Swiss Alps. They tell me this is the ‘Voralsberg’ region of Austria. I repeat to myself ‘For Al’s beer’ a few times until I get it. There is a chalet-style bier garden here ..but it's closed. Bummer. Well, it's not the destination but the thrill of the climb, I say. No problem, Jeff says ..there’s another one back the other way. Treacherous descent though ..sliding down watery trails ..slipping over rocks and skree. No traction thanks to the worn-out tread on my hiking boots. The backside of my shorts are soaked and there are plenty of branching trails to lose my way ..but Jeff and Steve wait so I’d know which one to take. I imagine Jeff mountain-biking down these trails and I shudder. What massive cajones that takes, as well as 'shock absorbing' knees ..and calves the size of trees. Hey, how far is it to that other bier garden ..?

Sister Cindy, Brother Jeffand Sister Jenny

Trim dich

It rained really heavy last night ..which means today we are running up the muddy trail of a ‘trim dich’ course. I would like to get a rhythm going so that I’m not struggling so hard to keep myself upright. I start belting out tunes ..trail tunes like:

‘I don’t know ..but I’ve been told ..it’s hard to run ..with the weight of gold ..(breath, breath) ..other times ..I heard it said (breath, breath) ..it’s just as hard ..with the weight of lead’.

The forest is so thick ..the air is so heavy ..and Cindy and Steve are so far ahead that they can’t hear me. Lucky for them. I’m shouting as loud as I can. Feels liberating. Soon I’m running in step. I reach a temporary anxiety-free zone where there is only motion ..smooth and easy. Nothing pressing down on my chest ..nothing constricting my breath. Just watching my feet strike the ground ahead of me ..in a trance.

Whooosh

It got noticeably more quiet here today, which makes me feel kind of ‘low-spirited’. Nancy, Teresa, Lara and Jade took off from Zurich this morning. Left a big vacuum. It also got a whole lot hotter and more humid. So, I’m sitting on a shady patio, reading, watching the clouds go by and doing as little as possible. I talk to Steve and he asks me to think of a domain name for his electronic voting system. I came up with something like safe_and_representative.org ..in order to stress it’s ‘tamper resistant’ virtues.

Says here how very few moments are ‘emotionally neutral’. So, I think about that for a moment and go ..yeah, I get a ‘rush’ when people pay attention to me ..a ‘buzz’ when they understand what I’m saying –‘demolished’ when they don’t ..‘embarrassed’ that my German isn’t any better ..‘guilty’ that I make Bernadette struggle in English. I see the power I have to amplify my feelings and blow them out of proportion. For me, it’s important to let go of persistent, negative reactions. I counter feelings of ‘submission’ in response to my father’s voice ..which makes me feel like a kid again ..and reminds me of when spilling a bowl of soup was like a major catastrophe. Interesting to sit here and watch these ‘charged’ moments go by.

Homöopathy

I started homeotherapy this morning with Dr. Meßmer. She is a ‘Naturheilpraxis’, which means ‘natural health practitioner’ ..specializing in acupuncture, homöopathy and neuraltherapy. They regard this sort of thing more highly here than in the States ..I think it's part of their medical establishment. It also kind of fits in with the natural surroundings ..taking it’s place among the farms, forests and alpine mountains. I kept waiting for her to prescribe more butter, yogurt and cheese. Anyway, I complained of the usual ..fatigue and neuropathy. Her blood test revealed something that doesn’t show up on my tests in the U.S ..that is, my bone marrow is producing too many ‘immature’ red blood cells ..which helps explain the fatigue. Dr. Meßmer prescribed, among other things, folic acid to help oxygenate my blood, and L-arginine to help my liver detoxify better. She said that my immune system looks strong ..which I’m happy to hear because it means I have a better chance of fighting free radicals.

Hans and Fabian

Cap'm Hans took us on a leisurely cruise around the Bodensee in his little steamboat. How relaxing..! The water comes up to just inches below the rail allowing me to run my fingers through it. The Cap’m told me the Bodensee is 187 kilometers around ..about 116 miles. Hmmm, that’s bigger than Lake Tahoe, which is only 72 miles around. No way, my sister Nancy says. Ja, Tahoe only seems bigger because the road is more winding and we get only glimpses of it whereas we can see more of the Bodensee at one time. Afterwards, we sat at an outdoor restaurant on Wasserburg harbour and chatted.

I was chatting with Fabian because we both speak French. I found her attractive, but didn't let on ..she's Cap’m Hans' girlfriend. However, considering their tolerance for multiple partners around here ..he still lives with his wife .. I was considering asking for her number ..but then I thought it would be more discreet to get it from Bitz. Anyway, she’s originally from ‘Brittany’ ..the northern region of France. She tells me that people in Brittany feel closer to England. They despise Paris and everything south of it. That’s because the region has passed back and forth between the two countries throughout centuries of war. I told her that the Southern States of America still feel that way about the North ..some 125 years after the civil war. She didn’t know that ..so, I went on to explain how the California Coast, as well as the Pacific Northwest, may some day secede from the U.S. government. The culture of the west is becoming just so much different than the culture of the east. She was astonished to hear that ..just as I was surprised to hear about the people of Brittany.

Cap’m Jeff

I’m skipping over Lake Bodensee on a tube ..behind a boat with Cap’m Jeff at the wheel. Whooosh!! Staying inline with the v-shaped wake that keeps narrowing in front of me ..giving him the thumbs-up to go faster ..looking down ..watching the movement of water splitting apart in front of me and then coming back together again behind me ..flowing cohesion ..feeling the spray on my face ..watching the countryside zoom by. Whooosh!! Washing away the accumulated stress of holding myself together on solid ground. Water always makes me feel this way.

Chapella walk

I went for a BIG WALK yesterday ..up through the forest to the Chapella on the hill ..then back by way of Montford Schloß Beer Garden. I did this twice ..stopping only once at the beer garden.My endorphins kick in half way up ..making me feel loose and rhythmical. Swinging my walking stick like a baseball bat and singing: ‘I know you rider’ ..rather loudly, up the hill to the chapella ..where there’s a young lady picnicking. Wonder what she’s thinking ..I’m feeling totally Amerika’n’sch. Everything is vibrating in different waves of green ..as far as my eye can see. I’m surrounded by bright green hills and thick dark forest. At the chapella, I get a panoramic view of the Bodensee ..and a massive weather system full of clouds coming from the northwest.

Wanderweg

I went for a moderate walk yesterday ..down and around the cemetery with Dad. Talking about back pain, hip pain, bad knees and neuropathy. I tried to explain the ‘endorphin’ theory. Then I walked up to Montford Schloß Beer Garden by myself. It was a ‘moderate’ walk because I got lost and ended up going farther than I intended. I couldn’t find the farmhouse that marks the footpath (wanderweg).I’m practicing Pranayama out on the deck this morning ..feeling comfortable. Watching the clouds zoom by in front of clear blue sky. Alpine weather moves fast. It’s about 15° cooler ..and much clearer than yesterday –down from a steamy humid 90° f. The weather doesn’t bother me much though. I have nothing more pressing to do than sit here and go with the flow. The fluid levels in my upper respiratory system are going down too ..in spite of the massive amount of pure dairy food I’ve been eating. Lindau is in Bavaria, which is the dairy producing region of Germany. My sister Jennifer is right, it’s not dairy products that hurt ..it’s all the other stuff they add to it in the U.S.

Things to do around Lindau

Sunbathe nude at the hidden schwimmbad ..then walk around the mediaeval-looking town. Drink beer and watch the boats going in and out of the harbour. Visually follow the surrounding countryside all the way to the Swiss Alps across the lake ..makes you feel like you’re in a fairy tale that’s been going on for centuries.Watch ‘The Incredibles’..‘Big Lebowski’ ..and many others from Jeffrey’s DVD library ..probably see some concert videos and other cultural events that you missed this year. Hike to a beer garden ..drink a ‘raddler' (normal beer with limonada citrone) or ‘cola weissen’ (wheat beer with coca cola) ..play with Jade ..listen to her say things you know she heard her teenage brother say.

Jade

My ten-year-old niece, Jade, looks so young ..like a childhood version of Reese Witherspoon. She weighs only 44 pounds ..but, I have learned not to underestimate her. She can make some pretty tough inferences while reading grown-up material. She can work multiple remote devices and control the PC, IPOD, DVD and TV ..tells me which movie characters to watch out for ..pauses the movie when I leave the room momentarily ..even adjusts the lights for me when I go online. Very tuned-in. She has phonemic awareness in spades ..I could hear it while she was reading aloud and ran into words that she didn’t know ..like ‘illustrative’ All she had to do was sound out the first three phonemes: ‘i..ll..u’ to recognize they were the beginning of a word that she did know .. and said ‘illustration’ ..but she knew that wasn’t quite right and immediately came back with the right word ‘illustrative’. I think the ‘ive’ ending is what threw her ..it didn’t conform to a visual pattern that she could immediately recognize.

Brother Jeff

My brother Jeff and I watched a Peter Gabriel concert DVD ..the same show he saw last year at the outdoor theater on the lake in Bregenz, Austria. Very high-tech performance art. Reminds me of the stuff he did with Laurie Anderson on his ‘So’ CD. Next we listen to ‘Alter Bridge’ ..made up of former members of ‘Creed’ ..which was the best selling group of the nineties ..which is a surprise. Very cool tho ..they’re alternately soft, folksy and hard. We also listen to Jack Johnson, who is definitely folk-jazz ..which is very popular in Germany right now. I like him. Later on we hear his music playing at a nearby beer garden. Over here, I can participate in online communities built around just about anything: music ..poetry ..satellite imagery ..streaming video ..the web of science and the stream of consciousness. Sites that promote ‘social interactions’ rule the net. Even in this small Bavarian town near the Alps ..information connects. I suggest this as a topic for Jeff’s senior thesis. Nah, he says ..not technical enough. He’s working on a degree in network engineering.

Touch down

I land in Zurich ..without my luggage. I’m put-off by this at first, but then I realize I won’t miss it much. There are plenty of provisions here in Lindau ..and everyone is so gracious, thoughtful and kind. Razor blades and t-shirts for me ..a bicycle for Jade. One day Bernadette announces that my luggage is on it’s way. She’s so sweet ..puts stuffed animals in the bed for Jade ..takes the ‘empties’ from my room ..makes life comfortable for everyone.

Take off

LA to New York ..and I’ve been up for almost 12 hours. Oh, I try to sleep on the plane but when I shut my eyes it sounds like every conversation in the cabin, including the jet engines, are going off inside of my head. So, I try polite conversation with the pretty ‘Scarlett Johanson like’ girl in the seat next to me. She works at an art gallery in New York city. Doesn’t own a car ..says she walks to work everyday. I try to imagine what that must be like. She’s originally from Los Angeles but enunciates so clearly that I couldn’t tell. No Southern California slur there. She tells me that she cannot hear the difference between the way New Yorkers and Angelenos speak. She also tells me not to believe what I see in Woody Allen movies. Well, ok ..I figure that’s because she speaks high caliber English with other New Yorkers speaking equally high caliber English. She’s reading ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ayn Rand. I ask her if she thinks the characters sound like they’re giving speeches. She answers no, it sounds like normal conversation to her. Guess that’s because they’re speaking her language ..the one she learned at private schools in Hancock Park .

Flight 64 from New York to Zurich ..I’ve been up for 24 hours now. As soon as I get off the plane from LA ..I’m standing in the boarding line for the flight to Zurich. Kate says it rarely works out that way ..you usually have to run to another concourse. Now I’m hallucinating. I swear the little lady from Switzerland looks like Melissa Etheridge. I suppose she thinks I’m rude for staring ..maybe I should try to explain. Nah, I don’t want to risk getting lost in translation. It is good to hear people speaking German and French though ..just wish they’d do it somewhere other than the inside of my head. There’s a terrible pain going on in there –so I take out the big guns ..vicodin and motrin ..and start flushing my system with so much water that the stewardess stops to ask if I’m all right.

Cosmic California Coast Journal

Notes from an electric guitar slide by the creekside ..between soft beams of sunlight filtering through a canopy of eucalyptus trees. Farther downstream, an abandoned Appalachian-like cabin echoes banjoes, bluegrass and hillbilly brats ..I was raised on the soaring sounds of jet planes ..the exploration of outer space ..the celestial sights of inner space ..the sweet ringing of Jerry Garcia singing ..the mind bending riffs of Jimi Hendrix ..the pulse of San Francisco beat poetry ..and the Zen mind reflecting serenity. I am a hybrid. My origins are interdependent. I follow the trail both east and west. I wander along the dusty aisles of university libraries ..then streak out over online avenues of networked computer galaxies. At my source, I am vibrations ..waves of energy striking the senses ..turning into neural energy ..then traveling to the brain centers that create my experience. I am who I am in the conceptual networks of the mind.

Patricia and Reinhard

Speech to the cosmo computer group

Biomimicry is the art of solving problems by seeing what similar obstacles exist in nature ..then discovering how nature acts to overcome them. One of my favorite examples of biomimicry comes from the story of the Swiss inventor George de Mestral. He was an avid hiker who spent a lot of time removing the burrs that stuck to his clothes at the end of every hike. Curious about how this happened, he examined the burrs and found they contained tiny, hook-like spears that had a natural tendency to attach themselves to the miniature loops found in fabric. He used the same mechanism in the 1950’s when he invented Velcro.

In order to combat biological weapons, the Defense Industry studies the reproductive behavior of insects to see how they detect trace amounts of chemical and biological agents over long distances. In bioengineering, scientists study birds to see how they recognize the songs of their own species in order to come up with better ‘speech recognition’ systems for the disabled. Last year physicists made the first practical observation of ‘quantum teleportation’ ..a trick of nature that could make future computers incredibly small and powerful.

My experience with biomimicry began while I was testing theories of reading comprehension in graduate school. A practical result of this study was to see if we could develop a ‘natural language interface’ to the computer. This was before the advent of the ‘graphical user interface’. My job was to see how people ‘store and retrieve’ information from reading material. I submitted my findings to the computer science department so they could program ‘text comprehension rules’ for the computer. We were developing a system that could answer questions by retrieving information stored on a computer database. In a sense, we were studying the activity of the mind in order to develop a better interface to the computer.

I believe that this type of research has applications in education ..for helping people with reading disabilities ..as well as the computer industry ..for helping web designers build more ‘intelligent’ search engines.

OOPS at the movies

Computer software originally designed for database systems is changing the way movies are made. Instead of creating and storing whole movies on reels of film ..they are stored digitally in small segments ..corresponding to scenes. Each segment contains key information about the cast, location, action and sequence of events. A computer program shows a film by linking these segments and presenting them in their specified order. Filmmakers can pull scenes from older films and reuse them in contemporary films, as well as reformat scenes or entire films for new devices. So now, someone can search through a movie library for everything that has a scene with the ' San Francisco Palace of Fine Arts' in it.

OOPS

Computer software runs much differently today than it did, say, five years ago. It is approaching the state of the art of ‘computer simulation’ - modeling real life situations - like, ‘customers’ waiting in line at the bank ..or ‘fighter pilots’ flying over enemy terrain. Instead of one program, doing all the work ..they are broken down into several programs that mimic people, places and things (objects) and how they interact to get a job done.

In a typical online business exchange, you have programs that simulate people acting as ‘buyers’ and ‘sellers’ who send messages (orders) to one another in a ‘virtual trading space’. When you’re on Amazon.com ..each web page acts as an ‘object’ presenting you with other ‘objects’ such as books, reviews or shopping carts. In addition, there are programs simulating order-takers and shippers. Each one does a small task such as ‘look up book’ or ‘compute delivery charge’ in order to produce the experience of ‘shopping on Amazon.com’

Summertime

Summertime ..to me that means boogie boarding at eucalyptus beach ..taking Pacific Coast Highway to Big Sur ..and, this year ..visiting my family in Germany – 5 sisters and a brother. Means that pretty soon we’ll be sitting in beer gardens ..walking past orchards loaded with apples and pears, too small and bitter to eat ..but just right for the schnapps we drink. We’ll drive through the hops and vineyards around lake Bodensee ..take a ferry to the city of Konstanz, which is a town so old it feels medieval. We’ll also hike up Mount Pfänder (pronounced ‘fender’) ..and take the ‘tele-freak’ (cable car) back down.

Summer look

After solstice it really feels like summer. I went to the store and picked out t-shirts in every ‘cool’ color – sea green, plum, yellow and burgundy. I realize 'coolness' is a property of mind ..not color. Anyway, I also got khaki shorts, jungle fatigues and a pair of swim trunks. When I went to pay with my visa card, they told me it was ‘declined’. What ..? I paid that bill. I got on the phone and found out that my account was blocked because my card number had been stolen, along with like thousands of others, from a ‘merchant center’. OK, well ..good work, I told them ..feeling glad they had caught it in time to save my credit worthiness. Now what? The store – Eddie Bauer – issued me one of their cards. Gave me a discount as well. I thought that was pretty decent of them.

Solstice

Ahhh, craziness ..the summer solstice parade ..a day-long festival ..and a procession of humanity coming from every direction. It's put on by local artists ..not civic organizations ..so there’s no marching bands ..nothing traditional. It's a celebration of life. How pagan. How fun. This year's theme was ‘wild things’ ..which could mean anything ..and usually does ..because anybody can participate in any way they want. For instance, my neighbor walks up the street playing a trumpet ..one of my friends was one of the belly dancers ...a former coworker and his wife used to dress up like scuba divers and pull their kids up the street in wagons with water guns ..until their children grew up and thought it was silly. I buy tons of confetti eggs and hand them out to kids ..tell them it's ok to throw at their parents. For me, the best part is the 'circle of drummers' at the park ..they play a continuous African-tribal beat ..on drums from every part of the world. I join the circle of people surrounding them ..and dance to the rhythm ..until I move past self-consciousness ..and activate a part of me that moves effortlessly. Kind of like at a rock festival.

Pop culture on the brain

There are places in my head that contain the essence of people and places that really matter ..like Halle Barry, Jennifer Aniston, and the San Francisco Palace of Fine Arts. Specific areas of my brain are dedicated to recognizing these culturally significant icons. Related images have a channel-direct connection to them so that little features ..like Halle Barry’s ankle ..will instantly activate my whole concept of her. Less important things, like Brad Pitt’s new movie, do not go near the Jennifer Aniston area. Instead, they get scattered over a much wider area ..and eventually lost. Out of the millions of pieces of information passing through my puny little brain, only those that elicit interest ..and have earned a reputation for being ‘cool’ ..get special ‘sites’ reserved for them ..as well as many pathways leading to them.

Bill: is there any life in jennifer without brad ..?
Nancy: who cares ..i am so tired of her
Bill: ok, now ..who was billy bob thorton married to before?
Nancy: angelina jolie !!
Nancy: she stole him from Laura Dern and there’s a quote from her where she says she would never date a married man ..shit, Dern and he were engaged to be married ..close enough !! so, from that quote, i take it that she and pitt are an item !
Bill: brilliant deduction sherlock
Nancy: lol
Bill: lets see, you got billy bob thorton ..laura dern ..angelina jolie ..jeff goldblum ..geena davis ..brad pitt ..jennifer aniston ..nicole kidman ..katie holmes ..tom cruise ..war of the worlds ..orson wells ..widespread panic
Bill: somehow, when i think of jennifer aniston ..i don't think of Brad Pitt ..i think of lisa kudrow ..lol
Bill: and when i think of lisa kudrow ..i think of sally struthers and the children’s crusade ..or margot kidder and the psychiatric ward
Nancy: lol
Bill: i think margot was writing her biography when she began to get paranoid ..her computer contracted a virus ..she panicked ..delusions set in –she fantasized that her first husband was out to kill her, so she left home –and wound up on the streets
Bill: so now, when i think of jennifer ..i picture this homeless person with an irrational fear of brad pitt
Nancy: lol
Nancy: Didn’t they find Margot Kidder laying in someone’s backyard?br/>Bill: maybe in someone else's cardboard box
Nancy: lol
Bill: i don't think they knew who she was until they booked her into psych-central
Nancy: really ..?
Bill: yep ..
Bill: hey, you know, it’s hard for me to imagine brad pitt going for an ex of billy bob thorton
Nancy: are you kidding ..? have you seen them together in mr and mrs smith ..very beautiful
Bill: ok, but a few years ago could you have imagined brad pitt settling for billy bob’s hand-me-downs?
Nancy: LOL !!
Bill: i can just see brad pitt in an interview saying ..oh, i hang out with billy bob so i can score with the chicks he tosses my way
Nancy: BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Bill: do you know why her and billy bob split up ..?
Nancy: she wanted kids ... ergo, maddox !!
Bill: maddox ..?
Nancy: that is the cambodian baby boy she adopted .. now 4 ..goes with her everywhere
Bill: i see .. so, you're saying billy bob dumped her?
Bill: who is he seeing now ..? ..halle barry?
Bill: or am i getting movies mixed up with real life
Nancy: you sure are ..she was in monsters ball with him
Bill: wasn’t angelina jolie the psycho blond in 'girl interrupted' ..?
Nancy: Yes. she won an oscar for that performance !!
Bill: so ..billy bob dumped oscar winning psycho blond mrs smith bradgeline ..?
Nancy: lol
Bill: is there any life in jennifer without brad ..?
Nancy: who cares ..i am so tired of her
Bill: ok, now ..who was billy bob thorton married to before?
Nancy: angelina jolie !!
Nancy: she stole him from Laura Dern and there’s a quote from her where she says she would never date a married man ..shit, Dern and he were engaged to be married ..close enough !! so, from that quote, i take it that she and pitt are an item !
Bill: brilliant deduction sherlock
Nancy: lol
Bill: lets see, you got billy bob thorton ..laura dern ..angelina jolie ..jeff goldblum ..geena davis ..brad pitt ..jennifer aniston ..nicole kidman ..katie holmes ..tom cruise ..war of the worlds ..orson wells ..widespread panic
Bill: somehow, when i think of jennifer aniston ..i don't think of Brad Pitt ..i think of lisa kudrow ..lol
Bill: and when i think of lisa kudrow ..i think of sally struthers and the children’s crusade ..or margot kidder and the psychiatric ward
Nancy: lol
Bill: i think margot was writing her biography when she began to get paranoid ..her computer contracted a virus ..she panicked ..delusions set in –she fantasized that her first husband was out to kill her, so she left home –and wound up on the streets
Bill: so now, when i think of jennifer ..i picture this homeless person with an irrational fear of brad pitt
Nancy: lol
Nancy: Didn’t they find Margot Kidder laying in someone’s backyard?
Bill: maybe in someone else's cardboard box
Nancy: lol
Bill: i don't think they knew who she was until they booked her into psych-central
Nancy: really ..?
Bill: yep ..
Bill: hey, you know, it’s hard for me to imagine brad pitt going for an ex of billy bob thorton
Nancy: are you kidding ..? have you seen them together in mr and mrs smith ..very beautiful
Bill: ok, but a few years ago could you have imagined brad pitt settling for billy bob’s hand-me-downs?
Nancy: LOL !!
Bill: i can just see brad pitt in an interview saying ..oh, i hang out with billy bob so i can score with the chicks he tosses my way
Nancy:BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Bill: do you know why her and billy bob split up ..?
Nancy: she wanted kids ... ergo, maddox !!
Bill: maddox ..?
Nancy: that is the cambodian baby boy she adopted .. now 4 ..goes with her everywhere
Bill: i see .. so, you're saying billy bob dumped her?
Bill: who is he seeing now ..? ..halle barry?
Bill: or am i getting movies mixed up with real life
Nancy: you sure are ..she was in monsters ball with him
Bill: wasn’t angelina jolie the psycho blond in 'girl interrupted' ..?
Nancy: Yes. she won an oscar for that performance !!
Bill: so ..billy bob dumped oscar winning psycho blond mrs smith bradgeline ..?
Nancy: lol

Prodigy

An 8 year old boy is brought to the school psychologist. He’s a child prodigy ..plays Bach Piano Concertos from memory. His life revolves around music ..he’s incredibly focused. He practices 6 hours a day on his own ..out of sheer pleasure ..and he would play longer if his mother let him. His teachers ask all the usual questions:

'Is there any danger that he might miss out on regular childhood activities and become anti-social ..?'
'Is third grade going to interfere with his development ..?'
'Is there anything we can learn from him that might help children with attention problems ..?'

Little Jimmy sits on his hands and rocks back and forth ..he doesn’t want to be bothered by all these adult questions. "What would you rather be doing right now Jimmy?" asks the psychologist .

"Playing piano." He responds quickly.
"Ok, what’s the next best thing?"
"S O C C E R ..!" he lights up enthusiastically.
"Who is your favorite soccer player ?"
"Freddy Adu ..he’s awesome !"
"Oh yeah ..how come ?"
"Cuz his favorite movie is Fellowship of the Rings"
"Uh huh ..and what's your favorite movie?"
"Oh, the Rings, I’ve seen it millions of times ..I keep waiting for Sauron to come back *dun dun dun dun dun dun* .."