Cardinal Zin

I am holding a glass of dark red Zinfandel ..cupping it in my hand like a woman’s breast ..swirling it around and around ..holding it up ..and watching it slide back down ..now, I know that’s supposed to tell me something ..but I forget what ..I take a sip ..and let the liquor roll down my tongue ..inhaling the vapor as it comes ..ahhhhhhhh, like licorice and berries ..with a shot of California sunshine ..a drop of evaporated Pacific Ocean ..a light onshore breeze ..cleansing the palate of my mind in the waters of {{WILLIAM LEE!!!!}} Uhhh ..yea? You’re not paying attention again ..are you ? *sheepish grin* Yeshh ma’am, ah certainly am ..jus makin’ shure dat d’ish fine glasshh of whine dudn’t sh’lip outta’ ma hand.

Sunshine

I wake up this morning feeling great ..I throw the curtains open and sing: “Good day sunshine” over and over again ..louder and louder each time ..wondering what’s going to happen today ..whatever it is ..I can’t wait ..I go downstairs ..have some yogurt, strawberries and coffee ..then go outside to read and clear my head. As soon as I sit down, a chainsaw goes off ..sounding like a band of screaming banshees –whhhiiiirrrrrrrrr crrrrrruuuunchhhh crrrrrruuuunchhhh ..my teeth rattle ..my head shakes ..I can’t hear myself think ..how rude ..I fume ..I scream but I can’t hear myself ..how are they going to ..ok ok, lighten up ..it’ll pass ..whhhirrrrrrrr crrrrrruuuunchhhh crrrrrruuuunchhhh neeeyoww hhhisss ~quiet~ then, Rick. Rick Rick ..whataya doin ..Rick Rick Rick ..whadaya doin ..Rick Rick Rick!!! Reply: Haven’t ya ever seen a lumberjack before buddy ? ..brummm brummm {{Chainsaw noise}} nnneeyowww hhhisss ~quiet~ Rick Rick Rick ..cut this one down ..Rick Rick Rick ..cut that one down ..Rick Rick Rick ..what about the one with the owl in it ..Rick Rick Rick ..cut it down ..cut it down ..I wanna see it! I wannna see it! ..Rick Rick Rick !!! Reply: Buddy, you know I can’t do that ..now go over there and sit down ..brummm brummm {{Chainsaw noise}} nnneeyowww hhhisss ~quiet~ Rick Rick Rick! Yea buddy ? Build me a birdhouse ..Rick Rick Rick ..I wanna a tree house ..Rick Rick Rick ..can we get in the car now ..Rick Rick Rick ..can I try that ..Rick Rick Rick ..cut her head off ..Rick Rick Rick!!! You know, I don’t think I’m going to complain about that chainsaw noise anymore.

Synesthesia

At a graduate seminar many years ago, a fellow student named David Stoltenberg proposed a theory that said that the simple act of reading is a “cross-sensory” event in the brain ..he even had a name for it ..“sensory synesthesia” ..which he described as “perceiving the sound of a color ..or the light of a sigh.” He was giving a multi-media presentation to demonstrate this idea ..but it didn’t turn out the way he planned ..the projectors malfunctioned ..the main point got lost ..and what I was able to get out of it left me feeling unconvinced ..it sounded too much like science fiction. When I think back, I realize I owe Dave a big apology ..and a pound of red Lebanese ..he was right ..you have to be able to “hear” what you “see” in order “understand” what you “read” ..because reading is such a recent invention – it’s only been around for 6,000 years – it never got a chance to really establish a place of it’s own in the brain ..unlike speech recognition which has evolved it’s own specialized center. Consequently, the written word has to be translated into the way it sounds first ..and then transfered to the speech recognition center in order to get the meaning ..because, in memory, word meaning is stored by the way it sounds ..not by the way it looks. That’s the reason why we teach dyslexics how to read by exercising their auditory system.

Feeling free

Jen and Sara from Journey of Healing <~ Click

Darkeness at daybreak

I wake up feeling run down ..don’t know what’s up ..I drink some coffee ..eat some strawberries ..and sit outside to clear my mind ..images of Madonna appear ..flashbacks from the Grammy awards last night ..I also hear Bruce Springsteen singing: “once I had a job ~ once I had a girl” and then fades away ..I look across the deck and see sunlight coming through the eucalyptus trees ..a dry creek bed ..further up I hear the sound of banjoes, bluegrass and broken glass ..coming from an old abandoned Appalachia-looking cabin. No, wait ..those were auditory hallucinations ..not to worry ..they’ll pass. I remember hearing someone at the Zen center say that enlightenment gives you the power to “transcend all four elements and overcome obstructions”. I could sure use a case of that right now.

from my decktop
I see how brutal nature can be
to a butterfly on a leaf,
the hummingbird zipping by is a savage beast.

Relevancy theory

I think Google is starting to run into trouble. It’s showing me a lot more ‘barely relevant’ web sites than it used to. Google grew on the strength of it’s ability to return the most relevant sites first. They followed a ‘democratic’ process where they figured the most ‘popular’ websites were the ones we wanted to see. They measured ‘popularity’ by counting the number of ‘incoming links’. The more people linked to a site ..the more popular the site must be. That worked well when most websites were ‘content specific’. Now we’ve turned a corner where blogs and online communities, like ‘myspace.com’, are becoming more popular than sites dedicated to specific topics. For instance, a blog may contain only one reference to ‘Willie Nelson’ ..however, because it’s the most popular blog on the block ..with many community members linked to it ..you may see it ..in addition to others like it ..before you ever get to the Willie Nelson website itself. Add to that the growth in the number of blogs and online communities and you may never get to see the real story behind Willie ..only a few personal opinions about him.

Peripheral vision

There’s not much blacktop left in LA ..and if you go there you might have to kill someone ~ you're better off letting the leader of the pack go down in a fiery freeway crash ~ it’s their nature. In India, elephants are trampling villages ..as well as the villagers ..some people say it’s because the villagers are encroaching ~ others say they’re being punished ..I think it’s like roller derby on the streets wherever you go ..it’s our nature. Researchers are finding trace amounts of prescription drugs in the water supply ..it's turning fish into hermaphrodites ..I wonder if I can beat the high cost of medz by switching to tap water ..some people tell me I’m prone to distraction and scatter-brained ..what was it that my friend Brad used to say ..I’ve got ‘scat-for-brains’ ..anyway, I try not to follow the same old circuitry ..that’s such a narrow focus ..besides, there’s a lot more to see out here on the periphery.

Inner life of plants

I’m trying for a tropical-look inside my study ..that means a lot of pine wood and green leaves. There’s a kinte palm next to my desk that I’m particularly fond of ..it’s doing so well that when people come by ..they ask me if it’s real. I hauled it outside yesterday to drench-water and feed it some palm food. This evening I was admiring it again ..when I discovered little round white dots on the leaves. OMG ..what are those? I don’t think I can just leave them there ~ flash ~ out of nowhere the word ‘aphid’ comes to mind ~ flash ~ I’m listening to someone, back in 1983, tell me that kinte palms are prone to something-or-other that sucks the life out of them ..dilute dish soap in water ..spray each leaf ..then wipe it off with a soft cloth. OK, I tell myself ..don't panic ..I have no idea what aphids are ..I don’t know if these are what he was talking about ..I’m not even sure if this conversation took place ..or whether he ever existed ..but I follow his instructions implicitly ..I put a trace amount of dish soap in a sprayer full of water ..spray it on my hand until all the suds are gone ..then spray each leaf ..and wipe them down ..still not knowing if this is going to work ..or if I was only making matters worse. Later on my sister ..my gardener ..and the panhandler down the street ..tell me that those were indeed aphids and I did exactly the right thing. It’ll be a couple of days before I know whether or not I succeeded ..but I thank whoever is in my head for telling me what to do.

Musical note

My neighbor Dez says he heard me outside last night ..singing. God, I’m such a terrible singer. I told him how sorry I was ..and said he could tell me to shut-up and it wouldn’t hurt my feelings. He says: “Oh, no no no no ..not a problem! I like to hear people sing ..makes them sound happy.” So, we chatted about music for a while. He’s a singer in a goth-rock band ..but says he prefers listening to songs by Tom Waits and Johnny Cash. I asked if that meant he likes people who sing in a ‘baritone voice’. “Ummm, well ..not only that ..I like people who sing in a ‘sonorous voice’ ” he says. OK ..(?) He goes on to tell me that that’s the reason he also likes Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson. I think I got it. I tell myself ..now here’s someone I can really learn from. But, what do I do instead ..I wrack my puny brain trying to come up with something I can tell him about music. I decide to explain my theory about how the Rolling Stones became popular. They were one of the first rock bands to introduce Moroccan and Mid Eastern rhythm to their music ..things like sitars and dulcimers. Made them sound ‘dark and intriguing’. You can really hear it in songs like ‘Paint it black’ and ‘Sympathy for the devil’ ..but not in ‘Satisfaction’ ..and you don’t hear it at all after Brian Jones died in 1969. I think he was their musical genius ..and blah blah blah. Dez stood there listening ..and nodding his head. “Interesting” ..he said. I went inside and thought ..what is the matter with me ..like I have something to tell him about music ..geeesh. I laugh it off and go in the garage to put my gardening tools away when something more frightening occurs to me ..I don’t remember singing last night.

At the movies

I just finished reading ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ ..it’s a wonderful story ..beautifully told. Now I want to go see the movie before the moment passes ..and I forget about it ..and it stops playing at the local theater ..which will be at 4:30 this afternoon ..I rush downtown wondering whether I should have purchased my ticket online ..I get to the theater and there’s hardly anyone there ..no lines ..very cool ..reminds me that I don't live in LA anymore. I climb the stairs because it’s ‘stadium seating’ ..which is also very cool because I know this is going to be a real treat for my senses ..what did Anastasia call it .. ‘eye candy’ ..well, if it’s anything like the images in my head ..I can’t wait. And I wasn’t disappointed. At first, it seemed like the movie was going in fast motion ..until I realized it wasn’t the movie ..it was me ..I was rushing it. Since the book was still fresh in my mind ..I kept anticipating the next scene ..instead of enjoying the one in front of me ..I made a conscious effort to stop doing this ..and managed to slow it down enough to take pleasure in how beautifully they recreated life in pre-war Japan ~ the floating worlds of Kyoto ~ the teahouses ~ the gardens ~ the cherry blossoms ~ the squishy things ~ the way geishas walk ~ stepping stones across a pond ~ dancing to the shamisen ~ rickshaws winding through narrow streets and outdoor markets ~ the smell of fish ~ glowing lanterns ~ tile roofs ~ flowing colors and textures of kimonos ~ white faces ~ ambition ~ treachery and intrigue ~ elegance and trash. I’d go see it again in a flash.

State of the union

Generally, I thought the state of the union address was OK ..then again, I wasn’t expecting much. At one point I thought someone else was speaking ..or they handed him a revision. First, Bush champions scientific research ..especially in the area of alternative energy. Now that’s very commendable ..surprising ..but commendable. However, he then goes on to demonize biotech as though anyone who practices this profession is a godless, flesh-eating pariah. He calls for legislation to make sure that this type of pond scum doesn’t start buying and selling genetic mutations on the open market. I wonder what’s going to happen to the value of biotech stocks. Probably nothing ..investors don’t pay much attention to this type of speech. As inconsequential as it may be ..I wish he wouldn't talk so much about things he doesn’t understand. I trust doctors a lot more than I do politicians.

Social atmosphere

I’m sitting on the deck watching clouds pass by ..enjoying fresh morning air ..Don comes by and says hi ..he’s out collecting firewood ..I go for a walk and end up in the drum and dance circle at the park ..I take a break and sit down with Joan and Brian to enjoy some local ‘buds’ ~flash~ Joan and Brian are gone and I’m talking with a young lady I just met named Julie ..she asks me if I have any problems with ‘disclosure’ .. ‘all depends’ I say ..she tells me to let her know ..and I say OK ..she asks me if I’m Monika’s boyfriend ..I say no, and tell her I don’t know who Monika is ..she tells me that Kevin is Lynn’s boyfriend ..Mark wants her (Julie) to be his girlfriend ..but maybe she should be Josh’s girlfriend instead ..who do you want to be boyfriends with? ..or are you already Kimberley’s boyfriend ..I forget ..who are you again? ~flash~ I’m walking home singing a tune from the 60’s ..Mr. Tambourine Man.

Reading behavior

Reading is a process of activating ‘propositions’ in the networks of your mind ..at least that’s what modern-day reading theory says. Some of the propositions are pointed-to directly by the words on the page (text-based) ..others are not (network-based). The propositions not directly stated are arrived at through a collaboration between the reader and writer. They are ‘suggested’ by the writer ..and ‘inferred’ by the reader. Both text-based and network-based propositions are necessary to complete the underlying message. Right now I’m reading ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ by Arthur Golden. Although he doesn’t directly mention the proposition ‘suffering stoically’ ..it kind of emerges when I read about the geisha Mameha-san ..whose beautiful young apprentice is being pursued by her own patrons now.

Looking for searchers

The U.S. Justice department is serving search engine providers with subpoenas to obtain user search records. So far, Yahoo and Microsoft have complied ..Google refuses. Government officials say they are only interested in detecting Internet ‘trends’ ..like what are the most frequently searched sites for Britney Spears ..or porn. If this is the case, they should be ‘contracting’ with Google for this type of information rather than serving them with ‘subpoenas’. That’s the way business is usually done between the U.S. government and private companies ..like Gallup for instance ..when they want demographic information. This would allow the search engine companies to provide the ‘trend’ information they are looking for without giving them the raw ‘query’ data that would violate privacy. It sounds to me like the Justice department is overstepping it’s bounds when they claim that the ‘Patriot Act’ entitles them to private industry records of this magnitude ..without an ongoing criminal investigation.

Deceptive advertising

I eat oatmeal fairly often ..the kind you get from the bins at the store. They’re called rolled oats and they taste ‘heartier’ than the ones you get in a box from Quaker Oats. However, I began to wonder if I was missing the health benefits of oatmeal because I wasn't eating the Quaker Oats brand. I checked the box and the contents were the same ..Quaker doesn’t add anything special. I wasn’t sure where these doubts were coming from ..until I listened closely to the Quaker Oats commercial on TV. Here’s what they say: “Doctors have proven that oatmeal reduces cholesterol ..and there’s no oatmeal like Quaker Oats ..remember, the one you grew up with as a child.” ~ Now, they don’t come right out and say that Quaker Oats is the only brand proven to reduce cholesterol ..but they sure enough imply it ..and that’s what I remembered.

Intelligent behavior

I believe there could be more dimensions in space than we ordinarily see ..in addition to hundreds ..perhaps thousands of universes ..that's a lot of space for a ‘creator’ to occupy. I don’t think scientists claim to know where people came from ..however, when they see phenomena occuring regularly enough in nature ..they feel compelled to document and investigate. Intelligent design doesn’t warrant this kind of attention because it is based on a classic fallacy in science called ‘anthropomorphism’. This means assigning our own characteristics to forces we don’t understand ..and intelligence is one of those characteristics. Given that there is so much we don’t know ..explaining it in terms of our own limited notion of ‘intelligence’ seems awfully egocentric ..like believing that the sun and planets revolve around the earth. In fact, we have a better understanding of how a star is born than how intelligent thought is formed.

Deck of cards

I stumble out of the bathroom and into the kitchen ..crashing into walls ..I have my morning bowl of yogurt and cereal ..and rush to the deck ..I get the patio furniture out because it rained yesterday ..and manage to crash on top of it ..the umbrella cushions my fall ..I sit down with my coffee, laptop and the morning newspaper and start to read when a northwesterly squall comes hurling down the canyon ..blowing away anything that’s not tied down ..the umbrella and chairs collapse like a house of cards ..I grab the laptop ..fall backwards into a planter ..curse the demons that are out to get me ..and quickly go inside before they take another whack at me.

Motion picture opportunity

Google is building an enormous database of videoclips ..this is the first step to creating an online marketplace for buying and selling videos ..and eventually giving Hollywood a way to distribute movies over the Internet. They are hiring anyone with experience in the entertainment industry. The head of one division was an extra in a John Waters movie when she was a kid. Makes me wonder if I should have taken that job with Warner Bros in Burbank ..instead of moving to Santa Barbara.

Superstitious behavior

The natives living in the rainforest of Sumatra believe in the supernatural. For instance, they believe that tigers attack people to punish them for violating tribal law ..like committing adultery or hearsay. As superstitious as they may be ..they’re not a heck of a lot different than Evangelical Christians, like Pat Robertson, who believe that Ariel Sharon’s massive stroke was ‘divine punishment’ for withdrawing from the Gaza Strip last summer ..in violation of ‘biblical prophesy’. Now, to me ..that sounds not only superstitious ..but downright arrogant, self-righteous and dangerous ..like a terrorist who believes that Americans deserve to die in plane crashes for violating Islamic law.

Reading behavior

I keep losing my place in the paper ..I’m trying to get back to the article I was reading ..but can’t remember what it was about ..suddenly the fig trees of Fresno pop into my head ..and remind me that I was reading about the date farms of Baghdad ..now I see images of date trees lining the entrance to Newport Fashion Island ..like you were entering the grounds of the Taj Mahal ..or some desert kingdom in Saudi Arabia ..I never saw Lawrence of Arabia ..and I don’t really know if there are date trees at the entrance to the Taj Mahal ..so, I check Google ..and nope, they're cypress trees ..the fig trees are in the back ..what article was I reading again ..it says here that Spain has colonies in Morocco ..I didn't know that ..now I see images of Christopher Columbus ..because that’s how long they've been there ..what about the date farms in Baghdad? I don’t know about those either ..too many distractions.

Second Christmas

Last weekend was Christmas again ..my sister Nancy drove up from Orange County ..that was fun ..we exchanged gifts ..watched the Bob Dylan DVD she got me ..followed her itinerary ..and saw ‘Brokeback Mountain’ in the afternoon ..fine movie ..then had dinner at Rose’s Cafe ..and saw ‘Walk the Line’ in the evening ..excellent! I highly recommend both. The next day we walked the backstreets and alleyways of east side Santa Barbara ..admired the architecture ..listened to ‘Ranchero’ music ..and tried to figure out what’s going on ..one thing’s for sure ..single-family homes are becoming extinct ..food for condos ..I hope it doesn’t look like New York City someday. Anyway, one of my goals for 2006 is to finish decorating ..and Nancy has a talent for that ..so next we went to Z gallery ..where I got the decorative mirror that I had in mind ..shaped kind of like the sun ..and she picked out an awesome print by Klimt that’s going on my bedroom wall. Once you get started ..it sort of feeds on itself ..each thing calls for something else to go with it.

Drug behavior

Generally, I don’t think we get a good look at cause-and-effect relationships ..we rely mostly on second-hand information ..which is almost never correct when it comes to drug behavior. The natives of the San Blas islands are becoming cocaine addicts. According to Anthropologist Stanley Heckdon, this is due to unemployment since the transfer of the Panama Canal. I don’t think so. I think they’re unwitting victims of our misguided drug policies. The islands are fairly remote and cocaine was non-existent ..until it started washing up on the beach ..the result of 'dumping' by Colombian drug traffickers trying to avoid getting caught. Law enforcement is pushing the cocaine shipping lanes closer and closer to the islands ..where it inadvertently winds up in the hands (and the heads) of the Indians.

Reading behavior

Information pops into my head that has nothing to do with what I’m reading. My head is full of images of the Long Beach Marina ..totally unrelated to the news story in front of me. I have no clue how this happened ..so, I look back to see if there was a word ..a phrase ..anything that could have triggered such vivid recall ..and, sure enough, I find that my eyes had scanned the word ‘Pam’ ..the name of a college girlfriend who used to sail with me out of the Long Beach Marina.

Depth perception

I think Photoshop is improving my depth perception. It forces me to really ‘see’ what I’m doing ..in vivid detail ..which means I pick up on subtle cues that signal perspective. The houses on my street look 3-dimensional again ..the trees along my path are clear and magnified ..while things that are faint register as ‘farther away' ..like the islands off the coast.

First blog

..and what really cracked me up was when Lynn said: “..Ah ha, yah laa-dee-dah'ed in photoshoppe again, huh ?” Anyway, this picture is the one I ended up using on my 'seasons greetings' card this year ..I photo’chopped it ..I know it looks amateurish but I like it cuz it shows a child’s sense of wonder ..and a fresh way of looking at things ..and I’d like to get better at that ..and photoshop ..and table manners ..and lots and lots of other things this year. Yeah, right.