Cold mountain journal

Arctic air blows over my deck ..making my fingers stiff and hard to write with. South of here, by the Mexican border, where it’s warmer, we're building fences. Shouldn't we be building bridges ..? I mean, Eastern philosophers say that connection is more natural than separation ..and I believe it. The wisdom of a group is greater than the sum of the individuals ..when information is free ..collaboration is key ..synergy and integration is what’s called for. My heart is stuck in a sad state these days ..it’ll pass, I know ..I think too many rude shocks and let-downs put it there ..no one really cares ..I know people have worries that are worse than mine. Rooftops, treetops and mountaintops ..math tests, beach walks, sandy feet, and salty air are just some of the things that we share ..I’m not putting fences there. Another blast of cold air ..another frozen stare ..I breath in and smile ..hold it and dissolve ..breath out and let go of the debris ..sit still and start over again. Karla says rock n roll sounds like people screaming ..hip-hop has a smoother flow ..kind of like rhythm n blues ..folk rock tells fairy tales ..fairy tales contain pieces of the heart that rational thought leaves out.

Epilogue

        American Gothic

I love the new Evanescence CD ..! I mentioned this to my neighbor Anastasia the other day and she told me that the reason I like them so much is because they are ‘mainstream’. I figure she ought to know ..her husband is the lead singer for a Goth metal band ..and they are definitely not mainstream .. or commercially successful. Anyway, it confirms my suspicion that the Goth subculture is growing. They are stepping out of their ‘niche market’ and laying siege to the rest of our psyche ..the parts that bring us places like Never Land and the Enchanted Forest. They are no longer content to dwell in the mosh pits or heavy metal shows in places like Sacramento or Modesto ..now they can be found in every major port and industrial city in the world. I remember someone saying: “..I can see the future of rock and roll ..and it is Bruce Springsteen.” Yeah ..? Well, they better look again ..I’m beginning to think it’s Ozzy Osbourne.

Karla’s birthday

I pick Karla up after school for our usual assault on the beach. I’m about to tell her to invite friends ..since it’s her birthday ..when she remembers that she already has an invitation to go to a party. It’s Fernanda’s birthday too. Nellie is going .. however, Nellie’s twin sister, Maggie, isn’t coming because she’d rather go shopping with her mother. So I take Karla and Nellie to the party ..then launch my own assault on the beach with Andy, my dog. I watch him chase birds up and down the shore ..see pelicans dive bomb for fish ..listen to a guy named ‘Tim’ tell me how his girlfriend threw him out of the house because members of their church didn’t like his tattoos. I go for a swim then drive back to Laura’s house. Laura is home from work now so we go pick up Karla ..and get a call from Nellie’s mother asking where Maggie is. Laura tells her that we don’t know because I only drove Nellie to the party ..then tells me she’s probably with her boyfriend. We go have a ‘birthday dinner’ at the Vietnamese restaurant ..pho with shrimp and fish. I listen to Karla explain the message behind the movie ‘Before and After’ ..so now I’m anxious to see it. She also wrote down the plot of a movie called ‘Fairy Tale’ ..in case I wanted to use it for one of my goth fairy stories. How thoughtful she is. She's thirteen today.

Chapter six

        I l l u m i n a t i o n

The Goth Fairy culture inhabits a world much darker than the rest of us ..however, they know how to illuminate these realms from within. For them, the outer world is a passing illusion ..it only seems real when we catch a glimpse of it and freeze the action. Life is never really motionless though ..only the mind makes it seem so. Fairy Goth children learn how to master the inner world before they learn to deal with the outer world. At an early age, they study metaphysics and cosmology. By the time they are ten, they are practicing mental telepathy and mystic transport. Their minds are tuned to waves of energy that children in other cultures have had pruned away. I sat down recently and spoke with the Fairy Goth Princess ..a remarkable young lady, in her teens, who is heiress to the throne. Unlike other children who learn their mystical skills through instruction and books ..she acquired her abilities by direct experience. She explains: “I can still hear the echoes from facing the walls of the abyss for ten years. I learned how to escape those barriers by following a trail that lead directly to my mind ..where I found a portal that allowed me join the other children playing in the fields. Now, when a child is lost or in trouble ..I can hear their pleas for help and telepathically guide them to safety. You see, we are all connected to one another through mental ‘receiving stations’ .. each member immediately shares the experiences of all the other members.” The Fairy Goth Princess explains how books, as good as they may be ..can sometimes get in the way of mystical experience: “Conflicting opinions muddy the water. The only way to see things clearly is by calming the mind and allowing the mud to settle.” She goes on to say: “No matter how much information you get from books ..whatever knowledge or supernatural power you may acquire ..when quarrels arise ..you have lost the way to illumination.”

See ~~> Epilogue

Chapter five

      Pathway to illumination

The Fairy Princess scales the steep canyon walls of the disenchanted forest. Along the way, her boots get wet and soggy and her legs ache. She climbs over obstacles using her hands, feet and fingernails. On the slopes of Mount Breakdown she feels a tingling sensation ..bright lights shimmer in her head ..and clusters of sadness fall away. She looks down and pays tribute to the clouds in the valley below. Members of the Goth Fairy Kingdom have a profound reverence for dark places like gorges, caves and grottos. It’s not just a fashion statement or superstitious behavior ..they actually believe that darkness is the mother of all things ..the womb where life begins. She feels exhausted but in tune with the rhythm. She knows that hard times naturally give way to good times ..like a light that shines in a dark place ..they’re co-relative. One doesn’t exist without the other.  Continue here ~~> Chapter six

Crazy Charlie

Charlie didn’t get any sleep last night. After I went to bed, I could still here him talking to himself in the dining room. This morning there’s a mountain of crumpled paper on the table and Charlie is no where to be found. I uncrumple a few of the pages and see lots of squiggly lines and arrows. I turn them upside down and sideways to see if I can find a thread of rational thought anywhere. Sure enough ..I found one. It seems to suggest a conspiracy: space aliens are in control of the U.S government and setting crude oil prices to ensure supplies for their own planet. I’m afraid that Charlie is in the hyper phase of his bipolar cycle. I drive down to the wharf looking in all the places he usually hangs out. I find him walking down the center of highway 101 ..without any clothes. I pull up beside him and yell: “Hey you crazy Gaijun, wuz happinin ..?” He says he overheated somewhere back on Haley Street. I say: “Yea ..there’s an offshore flow ..mucho caliente ..but hey, kick-ass conditions on the coast.” He gets in and I drive to Arroyo Burro beach where he won’t look so conspicuous (because it’s a nude beach). We get out and I follow his line of crazy hyper-chat down to the water ..and throw him in.

Saint Konstanz

The Vampiress of Konstanz